It don't snow a lot in north Texas but we do get some. Daddy has told us that he can remember some real blizzards when the wind was blowin' and the snow got real deep. He said we lost a lot of cattle during them times. Mostly, though, when we get snow, it ain't much. It'll snow real hard for a while so you can hardly see the barn from the house but it don't do it long and when it stops we hardly got enough snow to cover the ground. You don't hardly get to play in it either. The sun comes out and it's gone almost before you can get your boots on.
One of them days when it was snowin' kind of hard, the teacher was readin' us a story called Snow Bound. It was warm in that school room but from that story you got to thinkin' you was real cold. Ain't it funny how them stories can put things in your head that ain't really happenin'? It was a good story and I was really took by it. I was so took by it that when somebody knocked on the school door, I jumped like when you don't know somebody's behind you and they yell in your ear, trickin' on you. Miss Tuthill sent Luke to see who was wantin' in and it turned out to be a soldier in a real fancy uniform. He asked Miss Tuthill if he could talk to her school younguns. 'Course, Miss Tuthill let him.
That soldier told us that a troop of soldiers was movin' some renegade Indians from just south of the Bent-Y to the Comanche reservation in Indian Territory. Indian Territory was just some east of the Bent-Y and it later come to be called Oklahoma. That soldier told us he thought them Indians would be fine and not cause no trouble but they was gonna be walkin' kind of close to the buildin's and all us younguns should stay inside. Did we want to see them Indians, we could look out the east windows. He was tellin' us about them Indians because he didn't want us to just happen to see them and think they was on the warpath or somethin'.
'Course, everybody wanted to see them Indians. We all got by them windows and was pushin' and shovin' on each other to try to get the best spot. Floyd Hemming punched Nate in the eye and Miss Tuthill made him sit down and not see them Indians.
Pretty soon we seen them comin' over the crest of a little rise. As soon as I seen them I got some mad. All them Indians was walkin' and they looked real cold. I couldn't think why they didn't have no horses. All Indians had horses but worse than that, I couldn't see that they had no blankets or buffalo robes or nothin' to keep warm. Them soldiers was ridin' horses and they had heavy coats on. That didn't make no sense. If them soldiers was cold enough for heavy coats, they was sure smart enough to know them Indians was cold.
Most of them Indians even had bare feet and they was walkin' on that cold ground that had even some snow stayin' on it. Them Indians was bein' done real bad and that made me mad but when some of them school younguns went to laughin' at them and sayin' mean things, I knew I was about to lose hold of my thinkin' and give way to that mad.
Toward the back of that bunch of Indians come the squaws and the younguns. They looked to be worse off than the braves. Like I knew it would, my thinkin' got away from me and I took on a real mad. I done good with it though. I didn't cuss or nothin'. I knew my daddy didn't want nobody done like that on the Bent-Y and I was startin' to say that I was gonna go tell him what I was seein' but I didn't get no chance. Paco let out a yell and said real loud and mad, "Them goddam sons-a-bitches!"
Well, 'course everybody knew Miss Tuthill was really gonna give it to Paco for cussin' in school and you seen she was thinkin' on it but whatever she was thinkin' of doin' never got done. Paco was out the door, runnin' toward them Indians, cryin' and yellin', "You goddam sons-a-bitches!" He just kept yellin' that over and over.
By the time Paco was runnin' toward them Indians that fancy dressed soldier was back with them Indians. You seen that he seen Paco comin' and he sent a soldier after him. I didn't stay to see what happened. I went runnin' out of the school to find my daddy. Poor Miss Tuthill didn't know who to yell at. She started to yell at Paco and then at me but we both just kept on goin'. All them other younguns was all excited by them Indians and, I reckon, by what me and Paco done, and they was talkin' real loud and fast and some of them little ones was cryin'. What was goin' on there sure didn't look like no school. Miss Tuthill just sat at her desk and cried. I reckon it looked to her like her whole school was fallin' apart and it was just too much for her.
About the time I found Daddy and told him what I seen how them Indians was bein' treated, some soldier come ridin' up with Paco thrown across the neck of his horse. I think whoever had Paco was a soldier. He wasn't wearin' a blue uniform like the rest of them. He was wearin' buckskins and he was ridin' a western saddle, not one of them little army saddles. He looked real big and real mean.
I found out later that that man in them buckskins was a soldier but he was a scout so he didn't have to do like the rest of them soldiers did. If he wanted to ride a western saddle, that was fine with the army. You seen that it wasn't fine with my daddy though. That scout was holdin' on to the seat of Paco's britches so he wouldn't fall off but he had him layin' right on the pummel of that saddle. I reckon layin' with your belly on that stickin' up pummel on a trottin' horse would hurt like hell and from that and from his mad Paco was yellin' and kickin' and cussin' and cryin'.
My daddy was mad and it wasn't no talkin-real-slow mad. This was the kind of mad I seen with that damn preacher man. I knew there was gonna be some fightin'.
Daddy lifted Paco off that horse and you seen he was some mad at Paco for runnin' off from school. You seen too that he was savin' most of his mad for that scout who was doin' Paco like he was.
"You're on my land and you did my boy like that?" Daddy wasn't just mad no more. He was Irish. Like I said, the only times I seen him Irish was when he seen me crawlin' out of that shit house pit, and when Jigger beat on me and Paco. I seen him mad plenty of times and that don't scare me no more. But what he was now, Uncle Kevin calls bein' Irish and as much as I know him and as much as I love him, when he gets Irish, he still scares me some.
That scout was talkin' real uppity. "Hell, cowboy! You must be blind as well as stupid. You was told to keep civilians away from them Indians and if you'd look good, you'd see this ain't your boy. This is nothin' but a goddam greaser pu....."
That scout didn't get the whole word out. Daddy reached up and lifted that big man like he was no bigger than me and threw him on the ground. The scout was some surprised. He was real big and folks generally didn't do him like that. He come up thinkin' he was gonna teach my daddy a lesson. I got a good look at his eyes when my daddy hit him on the jaw. I thought they was gonna fly right out.
I think after my daddy hit that scout that first time, that scout didn't have his head no more. He done just like that damn preacher man done. He kept gettin' up and Daddy kept knockin' him down. After while you seen that the scout wasn't knocked out but it looked like his head come back to him. He didn't get up no more but my daddy wasn't done with him. Daddy reached down and pulled that scout up by the front of that buckskin shirt. Daddy put his face right in that scout's face and said, "If you ever lay a hand on my boy again or if you ever call him that goddam name again, I'll kill you. Do you understand that?"
The scout didn't say nothin' and Daddy shook him and asked again, "Do you understand that?"
I seen that that scout almost wasn't awake so he couldn't say nothin' and I got to thinkin' Daddy might kill him from Daddy bein' so Irish. Daddy was about to hit that scout again when he heard someone yellin' at him. It was that soldier in that fancy uniform who come to the school. He was cussin' Daddy and tellin' him he was under arrest for interferin' with the U. S. Army. That soldier was goin' for Daddy with his ridin' crop when Daddy turned around. That fancy pants soldier pulled his horse up so fast he almost tumbled over his horses head.
I seen sick people who didn't hardly have no color to them but I never seen no one get as white as that fancy pants soldier done. I swear, he was as white as them sheets Ling Pau puts on our bed. He just sit his horse lookin' for a long time and then he opened his mouth. I think he was tryin' to talk but nothin' come out. I thought he was gonna cry.
Daddy was tryin' to take control of his Irish and I guess he done it some. He done that real slow, pickin-each-word talkin' he does when he don't want to say the wrong thing. "Captain, your man was brutalizing my son and, further, he used insulting language on him. I will not stand for that anywhere and certainly not on my own land. The Flynns lost our argument with the Bureau of Indian affairs and I concede that these Indians have to be moved. I allowed you to cross my land because I wanted to make it an easier trip for the Indians. I need an explanation as to why these Indians don't have horses, proper clothing and adequate supplies. And I want that man disciplined for his treatment of my son."
You seen that the Captain got his voice back but he was confused. He looked at Daddy and then at me and then at Paco. "Colonel Flynn, Sir, I think you're mistaken. My scout didn't touch your son here. He simply followed my orders and stopped that greaser pup from....."
That's as far as he got. He was on the ground and my daddy knocked him out with one punch. Daddy just left that Captain layin' where he fell and went to Paco who was cryin' like he done that day we was first comin' to the Bent-Y.
"What's wrong, son? Are you hurt?"
By now several other soldiers had come up. They was as puzzled as that Captain. I reckon they couldn't think how a man with red hair and a Irish temper could have a Mexican son. You seen them whisperin' to each other and pointin' at me and Paco. One of them had got off his horse and was seein' to the Captain. The Captain was over his knocked out and I could hear him talkin' but I couldn't tell what he was sayin'. After while the soldier seein' to the Captain got a real surprised and kind of scared look on his face. "Sir, are you Colonel Seamus Flynn?"
Daddy said, "Yes I am, but you shut your damn mouth. Can't you see I'm tryin' to talk to my boy?" Daddy said again, "What's wrong, Paco?"
Paco couldn't hardly talk. He was cryin' too hard. You seen he was tryin' to get words out but all he got was sobs. He hugged Daddy for a while and then he'd point to them Indians and start cryin' harder. Then he'd go back to huggin' Daddy again. Finally you could make out through his sobbin', "Them's my Indians."
Me and Daddy both looked at them Indians. Some of them was sittin' on the cold ground, huddlin' together, tryin' to keep warm. You seen they was glad for a rest. Even them grown up braves looked all wore out.
A Indian that looked about my big tried to come toward where me and Daddy and Paco was. There was a circle of soldiers on horses around that bunch of Indians and they was herdin' them like they was a bunch of cattle. When one of them soldiers seen that Indian tryin' to come to where me and Daddy was, that soldier rode that Indian down. You seen when that horse hit him, that he wasn't no grown up brave. It looked like the Indian was hurt 'cause he just laid there for a long time but then he got on his hands and knees and crawled back to them huddled together Indians. One of them squaws went to lookin' at that Indian's face but he pulled away and stood up and was tryin' to see our daddy, I reckon.
Daddy asked Paco, "What do you mean, Paco? What do you mean they're your Indians?"
Now, you got to remember, them Indian times for Paco was just a story to Daddy and me. Since we had him, he wasn't livin' with no Indians so when you thought on Paco, you thought Bent-Y - not Indians. For how we thought on him and for my mad and Daddy's Irish, you can see why the meanin' of what he was sayin' wouldn't come to us.
Paco was still cryin' so hard he couldn't answer. He had that dark-room look in his eyes and he was just lettin' Daddy hold him and you could feel the sad comin' from him. I don't reckon nothin' hurt me in the chest as much as when Paco got that look. I knew what was happenin' was takin' him back to them bad times and I wanted to get him away from them but I was like Daddy. I couldn't think what he meant about them bein' his Indians. I started to cry too. I can't stand Paco bein' like that.
I been startin' to think some on God. Our daddy talks a lot about God and he's always readin' the Bible. He's tellin' me and Paco a lot of stories from the Bible. I like the story of Noah and that big boat best. I like them Jesus stories too and I like how my daddy thinks on God. My daddy's God ain't at all like that damn preacher man's God. My daddy's God ain't always damnin' folks and sendin' them to hell. I already told you some of how my daddy thinks on God and church but the more I live with him, the more I see that he thinks God don't want folks feelin' bad or bein' done bad. My daddy told me that God sent Jesus to show folks how to do each other. Jesus was always doin' folks good. He was helpin' them when they was sick and feedin' them when they was hungry. I like that story how He was huggin' little children. From what my daddy said, Jesus was lovin' me when I didn't think nobody was. Gives you a warm feelin', knowin' that. I do wonder sometimes though, if he loved me, why he let me live like a rat all them years. Daddy said me livin' like that wasn't Jesus' idea. Our daddy says that since Jesus showed us how to do it and went back to heaven, God expects folks to do like Jesus done and see that other folks is done right. Me and Paco was livin' like we was because somebody wasn't doin' like Jesus wanted. Knowin' them things about God and Jesus my daddy told me makes you want to be careful how you talk about them.
If my daddy's right and God don't want folks feelin' bad, I figured maybe He'd help me and Paco get over the sads. In my thinkin', I asked Him to. I ain't sure if God done it or if it just come to me but just that quick I got the sense of what Paco was meanin'.
"Daddy, I think them's the Indians who took care of Paco some when he was livin' with Vox. I think some of them younguns are his friends. I think that's what Paco means."
Paco was still cryin' too hard to talk but he looked at Daddy and shook his head "yes".
I said, "Daddy, look at them. They're real cold and most of them got bare feet and it's snowin' and all." I didn't say no more 'cause I could see that Daddy was gettin' more and more Irish.
I reckon Uncle Kevin seen that too. He'd been out there for a spell but he was doin' like he usually done. He was lettin' my daddy be the boss. But I reckon Uncle Kevin knew that you can't think good when you're as Irish as my daddy was. He come to Daddy and said, "Shay, you better get on in the house and let me handle this."
At first, I didn't think Daddy heard Uncle Kevin. He was like he wasn't hearin' nothin'. I never seen Daddy like that before. He just stood there lookin', seemed like at nothin'. What was in his eyes was more than fire. If I didn't know my daddy good, I'd of said it was hate. He was holdin' Paco real close and he looked like if someone tried to touch Paco, Daddy would kill them. I was real scared, not of my daddy but for my daddy. I knew my daddy felt a lot of things but what he was feelin' now was big and awful and it was makin' him be somethin' I never seen before.
Uncle Kevin put his hand on my daddy's arm and I thought Daddy was gonna hit him. He jerked away from Uncle Kevin so that he had him between Uncle Kevin and Paco. It was almost like I seen them range cows do when somethin' was after their calf. Daddy wasn't thinkin'. He was just actin' and somethin' was makin' him ready to die or kill to protect Paco.
Uncle Kevin said again, "Listen to me now, Shay. You aren't fit to be out here right now. You get on in the house. I'll take care of this."
It kind of come to Daddy what Uncle Kevin was sayin'. He looked at Uncle Kevin for a long time like he was tryin' to think out who he was. Finally, Daddy shook his head "yes" and carried Paco on in the house.
Uncle Kevin was almost as big as my daddy and you could tell from lookin' they was brothers, but they was a lot different from each other. Uncle Kevin had real black hair and his eyes was real blue and up 'til right now I never seen him mad. He was what folks called "easy goin'" mostly, and he was good for my daddy. My daddy felt so strong about how folks was done and he was like me. He just natural had that mad in him and sometimes, when it took him, he needed Uncle Kevin to calm him down.
The way Uncle Kevin was right now, though, I was wishin' Uncle Brian was here to calm him down. Uncle Kevin wasn't Irish but he was damn mad. By now the Captain was on his feet and Uncle Kevin said to him in a way that that Captain knew he better answer respectful, "You tell me, Captain, why these Indians are being moved like this, without proper clothing, without supplies, without teepees. Where are their horses and why isn't their chief being given proper respect?"
The Captain started out respectful but the longer he talked the more surly he got. Surly's what Daddy calls me when I talk back to him in a mad kind of way. I get sent to my room when I do it. I was wonderin' what was gonna happen to that Captain after he got done doin' it. "We were ordered to move these Indians. They should have been moved twenty years ago. As far as I was concerned, they were renegades. I confiscated their horses and burned their village. I can't leave my post short-handed so I want these Indians on the reservation by the first of next week. I can't spare these men any longer. I didn't see any need to wait for new supplies for them. I can't think what you're so fussed about. They aren't any different than animals and an animal can get by just fine without any supplies. Hell, man, they're just a bunch of goddam savages and if I had my way, I would have solved the problem like they did at Wounded Knee.
"You yellow bellied, bleeding hearts make me sick. I've been fighting Indians since I was seventeen. They're not human. We've killed off most of the other vermin in north Texas. We should just do the same with these."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Indians was folks and that Captain was talkin' about them like they was rats or somethin'. I was glad my daddy wasn't there. I'd seen one killin' in my life and I puked up the first good dinner I ever had. I knew if my daddy heard that Captain talkin' like that, I'd of seen another killin' and I didn't have nothin' hardly in me to puke.
What that Captain said kind of took Uncle Kevin back some. He just stood there and looked stunned. Finally he said, "Colonel Flynn is indisposed at the moment so I'm taking command of this detail for him. Captain, you're relieved of command. You get on your horse and return to your post right now."
"You don't have the authority to do that. You're a civilian. If Colonel Flynn wants to relieve me of my command, he'll have to tell me himself."
"Captain, I'd think about that if I were you. You saw the Colonel's frame of mind. If I call him out now, he may not only relieve you of your command. He may also relieve you of your head. The Colonel will be filing a report and I would suggest that you are in enough trouble. I'm sure you know that the Army doesn't tolerate your way of thinking any longer. You're already going to face a court martial. Don't make it any worse."
The Captain started to argue and Uncle Kevin just looked at our house like he was thinkin' of callin' Daddy out. That Captain stood there thinkin' for a minute and then he just got on his horse and rode off. I was glad he did. I didn't want my daddy out there right then.
Uncle Kevin put the Sergeant-Major in charge. The Sergeant-Major said he was glad things was changin'. He didn't like treatin' folks like he was bein' made to do.
I asked Uncle Kevin, "My daddy ain't in the Army no more. Why they callin' him Colonel Flynn?"
"You're daddy's still in the Army. He's just not on active duty. If any trouble were to come up, he'd be on active duty within a week. He still has full command privileges and he is well respected by the general officers in this area. That Captain's in trouble and he knows it. Folks who carry old hates like he does have no business commanding. He'll probably be retired or sent back east to a desk job."
"What's the matter with my daddy, Uncle Kevin? I never seen him like this before."
"Your daddy's got a lot on his mind right now. He loves you boys like I didn't know anybody could love and you saw what that scout was doing to Paco. That, and the way the Indians were being treated were just more than he could take right now. Don't worry about him. He's Seamus Flynn. He'll be all right."
"Uncle Kevin, why they makin' them Indians move?"
"Sam, all of the Indians were supposed to be moved to Indian Territory about twenty years ago. This group had settled down and started to work for us and my daddy got the Army to let them stay on Flynn land. They still cowboy for us but they mostly hunt and do a little cropping to stay alive. They like their old ways and we respect that. They could have moved into cabins here or at one of the other herd bases but they liked teepee living. They weren't bothering anyone.
"But they killed a man who they say was trying to steal one of their horses about six months ago. They said they tried just to run him off but he went crazy. He cut their chief and was going after a baby. That baby's daddy threw a knife and killed him.
"Too many folks are like that Captain. They hold old hates and fears about Indians. The folks around Goodnight got the Bureau of Indian Affairs to agree to move the Indians. We tried to stop them, but the law says that all Indians were to be moved out of Texas and the Bureau said they had to comply. They did tell us, however, that there was nothing in the law to stop a man from hiring them and bringing them back. They'll be given land just east of here, right over the Texas border.
I still had a real sad on me. I wanted to go in the house but I knew that what was goin' on in there was between Daddy and Paco and I wanted to give them their time. I got to feelin' some better when I heard Uncle Kevin tell some hands to go out and cut out six fat steers and bring them for them Indians to eat. I also heard Uncle Kevin tell that Sergeant- Major to move them Indians into the house horse barn and that they was to stay there until the Army could provide properly for them. I seen them Indians was gonna be all right for now but I was wonderin' how they would have to live when they got to Indian Territory. I was also thinkin' on whose fault it was that them Indians killed that white man. I didn't say nothin' but it hurt me in my chest thinkin' on what me and Paco done to them Indians. I wasn't frettin' none on Vox. I still think he needed killin', doin' Paco like he done him and thinkin' on givin' me back to them Christians. I sure didn't want to cause no harm to them Indians though. It fretted me somethin' awful.
By now them Indians was goin' into the house horse barn. I already told you there was a lot more stalls in that barn than there was horses because Uncle Brian had bigger ideas than Aunt Jenny would let him do. There was plenty of room for them Indians in there. Uncle Kevin showed them where they could butcher them beefs, where they could build their cookin' fires, where to get water and the place they should use for a toilet. There was a lot of Indians there and them Indians don't know nothin' about germs and stuff like that so they ain't real careful about what they use for a toilet. Them Indians done just like Uncle Kevin told them. They done real good and didn't stink up the place at all. I worry some about things like that.
As soon as they got in the barn, Uncle Kevin and Señor Pablo told them squaws to take them real little ones who was real cold up to the mow and cover them with hay. Mostly them daddies don't want us trampin' around too much in them mows because we knock all the leaves off them stocks and the horses don't like that hay as good. I reckon them daddies thought them cold Indian younguns was more important than what horses liked so they wasn't worried none about knockin' leaves off. Since it was winter and we didn't have that many hands in the bunkhouse, Uncle Kevin had some cooking pots and a stone corn grinder sent over. Corn don't do too good here but them Indians was used to growin' some and they liked it real good. They made a kind of bread out of it. We get corn from Iowa on the train now and Uncle Kevin give some of that to them Indians. You'd of thought it was gold he was givin' them.
The next thing I seen was somethin' Paco told me about and it was real interestin'. Them Indians is big on ceremonies and by what Paco says, they're havin' one about every time you turn around. You seen they was real proud of Uncle Kevin and Señor Pablo for how they was bein' done and I reckon, it took a ceremony to tell them about it. One Indian who looked about Nate's daddy's old said somethin' in Indian talk and all them Indians come together and that old man started makin' a speech. 'Course he was talkin' Indian talk so you couldn't tell what the words meant but it wasn't hard to tell what the speech meant. He was tellin' Uncle Kevin and Señor Pablo how proud them Indians was of them.
All them Indians seemed to have a certain place to be during them ceremonies. I knew it was the chief makin' that speech but I was kind of surprised that a boy about my big was standin' right beside him. All the other younguns was way in the back. That boy had a bruise on his face and I reckon he was the one rode down by that soldier. That boy kept bendin' his head, tryin' to see in our house. I knew he seen Daddy take Paco in there and it come to me that that was probably Qua. I just seen him real quick the mornin' we left Vox's and it was dark and I didn't see him good enough to know what he looked like. When that Indian boy wasn't tryin' to see in our house, he was lookin' at me. He knew that Paco went off with a white boy. I wanted to ask him if he was Qua but I didn't know no Indian talk and anyway, that chief was still talkin'. I figured I could find that out later when Paco felt like bein' away from Daddy.
When I thought on Paco, it come to me that them two probably was finished havin' their time and it was time for the whole family to be together. I went on in our house and Paco was sittin' on Daddy's lap, still sobbin' some but mostly calmed down. Daddy's eyes was still flashin' but he wasn't near so Irish any more. I knew them two had been through somethin' together so I done what seemed right. I went over and hugged them both.
When I done that, Daddy started cryin'. It wasn't just water-in-your eyes cryin'. It was sobbin' and shakin' cryin'. He said, "Sam, I damn near made a fool of myself out there. I've been tellin' Paco that I've always been Irish and I'll always be Irish but when somebody does you boys wrong, I'm a hell of a lot more Irish than I ever thought I was.
"Boys, I've got the reputation for being a cool head in a crisis and I've been in a lot of them. But when it comes to you two, I sure don't have a cool head. It just makes me crazy, all the hurt Paco's had in his life, seein' him hurtin' more from how his friends are being treated. I almost killed that man who had him thrown across his saddle pommel.
"You boys have to understand that I was wrong to get that angry. That's not the kind of example I want to set for you. I've got to learn that things will happen to you. I can't make your lives perfect but I can't forget how you've both had to live and in your case, Sam, I blame myself for letting it happen. There must have been a way to stop it. But I didn't think. I'd get mad and fight with your mama and then I'd feel guilty and get more mad. I couldn't think clearly and you suffered for it.
"Sam, I'm sure you remember that morning I found you crawling out of that outhouse pit."
'Course I remembered.
"I didn't just happen by there. I'd been watching you for a month. I knew that I was failing you. I had the power to take you from all that but I never knew what I'd be taking you to. Power is an awful thing, Sam. When a man has it, he has to be guided by something. Uncontrolled power tends to destroy everything around it. All my life I had been guided by what my daddy taught me: that having a thing was not what made you a man. What you did with what you had was what made you a man. I believed in the law, Sam, and I hated myself for it but I couldn't just take you because I could. So I'd set my horse in that little patch of woods and try to think what to do. I tried everything I could think of. I was done with lawyers. I tried to bribe your mama, but money didn't mean anything to her. You were her way to hurt me and that's all she wanted.
"I'm Seamus Flynn. I got what I wanted. People did what I said. I didn't know how to take defeat. I never had it and I never learned how to deal with it. I became frustrated and angry and when you're that you can't think. Because I couldn't think I let you down, Sam. The most important thing in my life and I couldn't get it done.
"I have to make it up to you and Paco. When something happens like happened to Paco today, all of that guilt and anger comes back on me. I'm sorry, boys. In some ways your daddy is a weak man. Big, tough Seamus Flynn who can control large crews of very tough men and fierce tribes of Indians can't control himself."
When our daddy was done sayin' that, he started to cry harder. He looked so sad, almost lonely.
Me and Paco just looked at each other. Our daddy who was so strong and who had most of the State of Texas scared of him, was cryin'. The man who had, almost by himself, made west Texas safe for ranching and homesteading, the man known for being able to control men and things that happened, the man who loved us so much and who we loved and thought was perfect - that man was just like us. Some things scared him and he felt like a failure in some things. I was surprised but I wasn't disappointed. In fact, I don't think I ever loved him any more than I did at that moment and I probably learned the most important lesson of my life that day.
The weak things about me: the times I was scared or mad or even bad, the things I worried so much about were not all of me and I wasn't the only one who had them. Big, strong, brave and very loving people who everyone either respected or feared had those same feelings. My daddy was the best man in the world and if he could feel weak and afraid sometimes, them feelings didn't mean nothin'. They was part of everybody and the fact that they was there, didn't mean nothin'. It was what you did with them feelings or what you let them feelings do to you that made the difference. For the first time I felt really worthy to be Seamus Flynn's son and although I didn't think I could love my daddy any more than I already did, I found out that day that I could.
It come to me that I don't think I ever seen my daddy stronger than I did that day when he was tellin' me and Paco his fears and guilts. He was being honest and that's as strong as any man can be.
The three of us were feeling some really strong things but it was Paco who could put it into words. "Daddy, me and Sam talk some about them bad times for us. Them times happened but they ain't part of us no more. Could be they taught us something about how bad people feel when they ain't treated right and I think if you didn't find us, could be me and Sam would want to treat folks bad too. But you come. You loved us. You showed us that it feels a lot better to love than to hate or be mad. I know Sam's your son but you didn't need to keep tryin' all them years to make things better for him, but you done it.
"I ain't nothin' to you. You could have left me layin' all bloody on that street in Amarillo, but you didn't. You loved me and you loved Sam and you done it so strong that you fought for us. You got to remember, Daddy, all our lives up 'til then folks wasn't fightin' for us. They was runnin' us off or beatin' on us. 'Til you come, nobody ever fought for us before. It makes me proud if you fight for us because you love us. It makes me feel sad if you fight for us because you feel guilty about Sam or sorry about me. Please try to be like me and Sam. Them times are gone. They ain't part of me and Sam no more. Please don't let them be part of you no more either."
Daddy was still cryin'. Paco hugged him real hard. "Daddy, when you're feelin' down on yourself, just remember you don't owe Paco nothin' but you loved him and give him you. It come to me soon after you started bein' my daddy, ain't nothin' better anyone can give you but hisself. I got you and what you are is fine. I think I give you somethin' too. When you see me, you smile and I can see the love I give you in your eyes.
"Ain't nothin' wrong with you, Daddy. Sam's your son. In a way you got to love him. But I'm just a skinny, bare-assed, stinkin' greaser pup. You don't have to even like me. But you loved me and look what that lovin' done for me. I'm still Paco but your lovin' me showed me what I was all the time. I'm somebody and because your lovin' me showed me that, in my thinkin' you're better than any of them Seamus Flynn stories folks tell. You're my daddy and I'm real proud of that."
When Paco gets done sayin', there usually ain't much left to be said. All I can do is hug Daddy real hard and say, "Paco's right, Daddy. You're the best daddy in the world. I love you."
Well, what do you say about all that? It's a different feelin' comfortin' your daddy when you're used to takin' comfort from him. Makes you feel all grown up and makes you know a little more about lovin' folks. It come to me that could be love feels better when you're givin' some instead of takin' all the time. I got to think on that some more but I think maybe that's right.
When the cryin' and huggin' was done, Paco knew how to break the tension. He said, "I will say this, Daddy. When you get as Irish as you was today, I'm sure glad I never joined the army do you be my Colonel."
Our daddy laughed and hugged us both real hard. "We'd better go wash our faces. The rest of the world don't need to know what we been doin' in here. If we wash our faces in cold water, it'll take out the red from our eyes. You boys have chores to do and I reckon Kevin could use some help from me. Brian don't get back from San Francisco until Friday so can't no Flynn be mopin' around in no house."
Daddy don't talk ranch talk too much but when he does it you know he's funnin' and over his sad and his Irish.
I was anxious to get out and see them Indians again but my chorin' was in the other barn. Juan was wantin' to see them Indians too, so we done our chores real fast. We done them good though and Señor Pablo said we could go on over.
When we got in there, all we seen was a whole passel of Indian younguns lookin' in one of them stalls. Pretty soon I seen Paco crowdin' through that bunch lookin' kind of disgusted. He said them Indians was so curious about what he was doin', they was always in his way. Paco was some put out at Danny too. Danny wasn't never around no Indians and he was keepin' Paco between him and them Indians. He wasn't bein' much help. I felt some sorry for Danny. You seen he was tryin' to do like Paco and not be scared of them Indians but it wasn't workin'. Danny could tell that Paco was some put out with him and that didn't help none either. Danny looked like he was about to cry. He was glad when Juan and me come and started helpin' chore with them. Danny stayed real close to me.
But Paco was bein' Paco too. He knew all of them younguns but he seen that none of them knew him. I reckon the only time they seen Paco, he had the malnutrition and he didn't have it no more. I ain't sure I would have known him if I didn't see him all the while he was gettin' rid of the malnutrition. Rememberin' how he was and how he is now, he ain't the same boy.
You seen that Paco was waitin' for just the right moment to let them know who he was. It was like Danny said about Spike that first day we was on the Bent-Y. Paco was squeezin' every last bit of milk out of that tit.
Paco's moment came when he was in the mow throwin' down hay for the horses. Them Indian younguns was still in his way and he waited until a girl about his big was by him and then he told her in Indian talk to get them younguns the hell out of his way. He got the response he wanted. All them Indians stopped short from surprise. By how they was lookin' at Paco you seen they was wonderin' how the hell that Mexican boy knew their talk. That girl come up and looked at him real close. She said somethin' in Indian talk and I reckon she was askin' Paco who he was, but Paco didn't say nothin'. He just had that ornery grin on his face and let her study on him. You seen by her face when it come to her who he was. After she got over her surprise, she started talkin' real fast and went to the edge of the mow and called to them Indians on the barn floor. One of them yelled out the door and I knew they was callin' Qua. They said a long word but it started with Qua.
That boy with the bruise on his face was Qua. He come in them far doors and that girl went to talkin' to him real fast. You didn't have to know no Indian talk to tell she was tellin' him to hurry up and get his ass up in that mow.
Nobody said nothin'. Paco walked over and stood face to face with Qua. It didn't take Qua long to know who he was lookin' at. He thought he recognized Paco's voice when he was runnin' and cussin' and cryin' from before. He was tryin' to look in our house to see if what his ears told him was right. He told us later that he got to thinkin', "What would a skinny, naked Mexican be doin' in a fancy place like this?", but from what his ears was tellin' him, he couldn't get Paco out of his head.
When he knew for sure who he was lookin' at, Qua smiled real big and said, "Paco!" and then them two grabbed each other's elbow on the same arm. That's how Indians hug, I reckon. Even though they wasn't huggin' like I would have done didn't I see Paco for a long time, it felt like huggin' to me. Them two was real glad to see each other and there was as much feelin' in that elbow grab as I seen in a lot of hugs.
While we was doin' the rest of the house horse barn chorin', Paco was tellin' Qua how he come to be Paco Flynn. We wasn't havin' as much trouble with the rest of them Indian younguns because Qua was with us now and when he said to get out of the way, they got out of the way. You could see that Qua was smart. We didn't ask him or we didn't tell him what to do but he seen what we was doin' and could think out what to do next. He helped us finish our chorin'.
While that was happenin', I was havin' a new feelin'. Paco was mine. Oh, he had a lot of other friends but when he wanted real closeness or when there was real feelin' it was with me. 'Course, there was Daddy but I'm talkin' now about younguns. But now I was seein' almost the same kind of closeness and it wasn't with me. I didn't know what they was sayin' to each other but I seen that closeness and it made me jealous. I wasn't so jealous that I was mad at Qua but I seen Qua doin' for Paco what I usually done. Qua was givin' Paco the happies. Qua was makin' him laugh. Qua was his friend. It didn't make me mad but it scared me. It come to me, "What if Paco don't need me no more?"
When the chorin' was done, Paco asked Qua's daddy if Qua can come to our house for eatin' and sleepin'. As much as them Indians was proud of them Flynns, Qua's daddy had to think on it. Paco had already told me that Indians are some fretted by havin' their younguns alone with white folks. He said Indians got stories about how some of them damn Christians steal Indian younguns and try to make Christians out of them and try to make them live like white folks. Stealin' younguns was somethin' Indians understood 'cause they done it themselves, so, even was they bein' done good here on the Bent-Y, Qua's daddy wasn't sure he wanted Qua in that white man's house.
There was some long, hard talkin' between Qua's daddy and his squaw and what you could tell was some regular boy beggin' from Qua and, I reckon, Qua's daddy finally said "yes" because we all headed for the door. When we got there, some damn soldier wouldn't let us out. He said them Indians was to stay where Uncle Kevin told them to and our house wasn't one of them places.
Now Paco ain't Irish but if you was lookin' at him then, you'd of thought he was. His eyes went to flashin' like Daddy's do and he yelled at that soldier, "I'd hate to have happen to my ass what's gonna happen to yours when my daddy gets done with you."
That soldier wasn't one who was right there when Daddy had on his real Irish so he didn't know who Paco was. It looked like he was thinkin' that maybe he was Juan's brother or just some stinkin' greaser pup so he tried to grab him for talkin' uppity to a U. S. Soldier. Paco dodged around him and went runnin' into our house. When that soldier seen what house Paco went into, his face changed real quick. Might be he didn't see the fight but all them soldiers was tellin' each other about it and while they was doin' it, they was pointin' at our house like they was sayin', "That's the house he went into."
When that soldier seen Paco go into our house, from his face you could tell he was thinkin', "Oh, my god! Colonel Seamus Flynn's gonna kill me now."
Daddy come out with Paco and from the way he was walkin' and how his eyes was flashin', I was glad he wasn't comin' out about somethin' I done. You seen the mad but when he got to that soldier, he talked real soft to him. "Trooper, I'm Colonel Seamus Flynn. I assume that you have heard of me. Perhaps you haven't heard, however, that some of these Indians are friends of one of my sons. Paco, come here, please. I'd like you to meet Trooper .........?" Daddy looked at that trooper with a question on his face.
"Trooper Barry Quinn, Sir."
"Well," our daddy said, "an Irish boy. It's good to have another son of the ole sod on the Bent-Y. Paco Flynn, meet Trooper Barry Quinn."
Paco got that ornery look. "Just how Irish are you? Do you get as Irish as my daddy, I'm gonna stay shy of you."
Everybody laughed and Trooper Quinn looked like someone just took a noose from around his neck.
Daddy said, "I'm going to pull rank on you, Trooper. If it's all right with his father, this Indian boy will spend the night in my house."
Our daddy wasn't bein' Irish at all but you still got the feelin' that your ass is in a whole lot better shape if you do what he wants.
Trooper Quinn saluted my daddy about three times and each time he done it, he said, "Yes, Sir, Colonel - Yes, Sir, Colonel - Yes, Sir, Colonel!"
Paco was tryin' to tell Daddy that Qua's daddy already said Qua could sleep in our house but Daddy said, "He's a chief, son. I have to talk to him myself as a matter of respect."
Paco was tellin' them daddies what the other one was sayin' and it looked like he was doin' it real good. There was a lot of talkin' and some elbow grabbin' but wasn't too long before we was walkin' toward our house.
Qua was wearin' what them Indians wear, just a cloth coverin' his front but nothin' on his top or over his ass. You seen he was real cold but he was a Indian. He didn't show you nothin' about how he was feelin'. Our daddy told Ling Pau to get a hot bath ready for us and to look after that bruise on Qua's face. We bath in the kitchen by the cookin' stove when it's cold but we bath ourselves now. We don't get Señora Maria or Aunt Jenny or Aunt Lydia or Ling Pau to bath us. We're too big for that no more. We ain't give up havin' our backs scrubbed with that soft brush though. Me and Paco bath at the same time cause we use the same water. Takes too much heatin' to use different water and we mostly ain't that dirty no more. We bath every day. Since we're both there, we scrub each other's back.
Ling Pau was real gentle about lookin' after that bruise. It wasn't bad. It was just skinned some and was gonna be red for a while. It wasn't even gonna turn black like Paco's done when Jigger was beatin' on him.
Ho Chow was rushin' around the kitchen fixin' supper and you could tell it was makin' him mad, three boys bathin' while he was so busy. He ain't nasty but he's gettin' so he talks up for hisself more. He said to Daddy that he couldn't think why the bathin' couldn't wait until he was done with his cookin'. Daddy told him that that Indian boy was cold and needed a hot bath now to warm him up. I reckon Ho Chow had been cold sometime in his life. He quit his fussin' and we went to bathin'.
It looked like Qua never had no hot bath before. When he first set in that tub, he kind of jumped up like he thought that water was gonna burn him but Paco set him back down and went to scrubbin' on his back. It didn't take Qua long to get to likin' hot bathin' real good. We almost couldn't get him out of that tub so me and Paco could bath. We should have thought to bring down them bathrobes before we bathed. Even after we dried off with them big towels, when you get away from that cookin' stove, you ain't so dry that you don't feel like you're freezin' your ass off. We run like hell to get to our room and some britches.
Me and Paco sleep in my room and Paco keeps a lot of his clothes there but not all of them. When we got to our rooms, I got that jealous feelin' again. Paco and Qua went into Paco's room and I was alone in mine. I knew it was dumb but I was thinkin' maybe Paco don't want me for a brother no more. I about cried.
Qua and Paco are about the same big and when they come out of Paco's room you had to look hard to see which one was which. They both had on Paco's britches and shirts and their skin was about the same color and they both got that real black hair. They come into my room and Qua went right to the mirror. Paco brushed his hair for him and Qua just looked at himself and smiled. That was one proud Indian.
Paco was real gentle about teachin' Qua about white man's eatin' manners. Qua acted like he was scared that he was gonna do somethin' dumb and he was slow about tryin' our food but Paco went at him real easy and he showed Qua that he ate them things and they was good. When Qua took a little bit, he seen he liked it and then he went to eatin' about like Paco does. He was eatin' a lot but he was always lookin' at Paco and me and Daddy to see how you was supposed to do it.
While we was eatin', Paco and Qua was all the time talkin' in that Indian talk. One time, Paco said somethin' and Qua dropped his fork, jumped up out of his chair and looked real scared at Daddy. Paco laughed and went and sat Qua down again. Paco told Daddy and me in white man's talk that he had told Qua who Daddy was. I reckon Qua was thinkin' on all them Indian Seamus Flynn stories 'cause you seen he was real scared. Paco got him calmed down quick enough and them two was talkin' and laughin' about as much as they was eatin'. Me and Daddy talked some but mostly their laughin' had us laughin' even though we didn't know what we was laughin' about. Wasn't none of our business anyway. They was havin' their own time and it was just between them.
After supper Paco and Qua went to Paco's room and me and Daddy went into the library to read. It was hard to keep your head on what you was readin'. Them two was laughin' and bein' real rowdy up there. You knew they was wrestlin' like me and Paco done all the time 'cause you could hear them bouncin' around on the floor. Paco's room was right above the library so it sounded like me and Daddy was inside a drum. Daddy had to call up the steps and tell Paco to settle down.
Come time for sleepin', I knew what was gonna happen. Paco asked did I mind if him and Qua slept in Paco's room. I said I didn't but I was lyin'. The only time lately I ain't had Paco by me when I was sleepin' was that night he had his arm broke. We ain't even had no friends over since then. Anyway, I don't like sleepin' with no one but Paco. You can have fun talkin' and laughin' with them friends but when that's all done and you're tryin' to go to sleep, seems like I gotta know is Paco all right. Paco has told me before that he feels the same thing but it didn't look like he was feelin' it tonight. Looked like he didn't care nothin' about me and I don't think I ever felt so lonely in my life.
I heard Paco and Qua laughin' through the wall. I knew where Paco was and I knew my daddy was still downstairs in the library but I had the feelin' I was layin' in that grubby cot in that old Goodnight cabin that wasn't even there no more. I knew folks loved me but I was by myself and it just didn't feel like it. I thought I was never gonna go to sleep. I thought all them old Goodnight feelings was gone from me but I seen that night that they wasn't. When I heard my daddy come up to bed, I was thinkin' of crawlin' in with him but I never got it done. I reckon I went to sleep but I didn't sleep good. I was havin' dreams, them kind of dreams that scare the hell out of you. All night I was tryin' to save Paco from somethin' that was after him. You know how them dreams are. Somethin's always causin' trouble or scarin' the hell out of you but you never know what it is.
I'd get some awake and think on goin' to Daddy's bed but, I reckon, I never got awake enough to do it. I just stayed in my bed havin' them dreams all night. I would have been fine if Paco was there. I could have cuddled up to him and slept good. But he wasn't there so I just kept havin' them damn dreams.
Finally I come awake and I knew it was mornin'. I smelled them flapjacks cookin'. I could hear Paco and Qua already laughin' so I went on over to see what they was doin'. They was just bein' boys. They was layin' there, actin' silly. Seemed like it don't make no difference if you're white or Mexican or Indian or a Chinaman. If you're a boy you act the same way. A boy's a boy, I reckon. I reckon girls are the same way. I know white and Mexican and China girls are like that but I don't know no Indian girls. Seein' Qua actin' silly like any other boy, I reckon Indian girls act dumb like all them other girls.
Qua come down wearin' Paco's clothes again. I reckon when you're young, you get used to things pretty quick. Qua was usin' them forks and spoons like he'd been usin' them all his life. The only thing wrong with breakfast was that Qua liked butter milk real good too and since he was company, he got all he wanted. There wasn't hardly none left for Paco and me. We was still livin' come time for noonin', so I reckon doin' without didn't hurt us none but I still didn't like it too good.
Qua liked them flapjacks. He was tryin' to talk to me and Daddy usin' some English words he'd heard around camp and words Paco had told him to say when they was just layin' there in bed. He was tryin' real hard and he said some words good but he said a lot of them wrong too. Qua tryin' to talk English and not doin' too good got him laughin' and him and Paco went to gigglin' and 'course, that got me and Daddy to laughin' too. Mostly, Paco and Qua was talkin' and funnin' in Indian talk and I was left out. I could feel that jealous comin' on me again.
I seen I was wantin' Paco not to have no good friends but me. I couldn't think that out. He had real good friends on the Bent-Y but what was happenin' with Qua was different. They wasn't just actin' like friends. They was actin' like brothers and, while I knew it was selfish, I couldn't stop myself from feelin' jealous. I just went out to the barn and done my chorin'.
Paco said when him and Qua went out to the house horse barn, some of them Indians didn't know who Qua was, him bein' dressed like a white boy and all. Daddy said Qua could have them clothes and he give him a pair of boots that was too small for me. He looked good.
A lot of them grown Indians was talkin' to Paco now that they knew who he was. They was all wonderin' how he turned from a bare-assed greaser into Paco Flynn. He must of had to tell that story fifty times and he said none of them Indians could hardly think that any white man could be as good as our daddy, takin' a skinny, bare-assed greaser and makin' him his son. Them Indians knew the Flynns was good folks but they come to think a whole lot better on them for doin' like they done Paco and for gettin' them Indians from the cold and feedin' them.
Our daddy talked to Qua's daddy for a long time. Daddy don't know no Indian talk but he knows Spanish some good. Some of them braves knew Spanish better than any of them knew English so Daddy was talkin' Spanish and one of them braves was tellin' Qua's daddy what he was sayin'. They didn't have Paco do the translatin' because they was talkin' about Paco. Our daddy was thankin' them Indians for lookin' out for Paco when he was livin' with Vox. Our daddy told that chief that to repay his kindness to Paco, Daddy would like the chief to leave Qua on the Bent-Y for schoolin'.
That chief had to think on that for a long time. He asked Qua what he wanted to do. Qua said he wanted to stay. Qua's daddy reminded him that he was the only son his mama had left. Qua's family was some like Nate's family. Qua's brothers and sisters was all some older than him. He had four sisters but all his brothers was dead.
A whole lot of Indian babies die when they're real little. Qua had had four brothers who did that. He had one brother who was between him and his next oldest sister and that one got big enough that Qua knowed him before some kind of sick took him and he died.
Qua decided not to stay. He said if he did, his mama would just sit down and die from losin' her last son.
Them Indians can do that. They just decide to and sit there and die. Qua said he didn't want his mama dyin' and, anyway, he wanted to see where his people was gonna be livin'. He said he'd get some schoolin' when he was more grown.
Our daddy seen to it that the army and the Bureau of Indian affairs sent some blankets and robes for the rest of their trip. The Army was gonna replace their horses too but they wasn't gonna have them 'til them Indians got to their reservation. Might be that them Indians had to walk the rest of the way but mostly, they was bein' done a whole lot better.
Them Indians was on the Bent-Y for four days before the supplies got there. Some of the supplies was army gear like heavy coats and boots and them Indians wasn't used to that kind of clothes, but they was better than freezin' to death so you didn't hear too much fussin'.
On the day they was ready to go, Daddy had all the people on the Bent-Y come to the ceremony. Like I said, you couldn't hardly do nothin' but what them Indians was havin' a ceremony for it. We had us a big one on their leavin' day, I'll tell you.
First the bugler for them troopers played a bugle call and then the Indians done a dance that they were kind of singin' to. Then all us school younguns sang Yankee Doodle and I Wish I Was In the Land of Cotton. Then the Indians did another dance that they did that real through-your-nose singin' to. Them come the speeches. First it was Qua's daddy and Paco was real proud. He got to tell what Qua's daddy was sayin'.
Next come our daddy. He was wearin' his army uniform that me and Paco never seen before and he looked like somethin'. Paco got to tell them Indians what my daddy was sayin'.
I reckon, Indians don't think a speech is worth havin' unless it lasts until you think you ears is gonna fall off from listenin'. Both them speeches was real long and they both was about the same thing. They was about how the white man and the Indians was brothers and they was gonna live together in peace until the moon and stars don't shine no more and when they was done sayin' that, they said it all over again in a different way. I didn't see no sense in sayin' that stuff over and over but them Indians was company so we done it their way.
When the speeches was done, my daddy and Uncle Kevin and Uncle Brian who had got back from San Francisco, and Señor Pablo and Qua's daddy and a whole lot of them grown Indians sat in a circle and smoked a big long pipe. I about had to laugh. My daddy don't smoke none and he about choked on that ceremony smokin'.
When the smokin' was done, Miss Tuthill had all the school younguns go to some Indian younguns and give them a picture that was made for a gift for them Indians. Them Indian younguns liked them pictures real good but Qua's daddy was gonna make them give them back. Miss Tuthill didn't know it's a insult if you give a Indian a gift and he ain't got nothin' to give you back. It was Paco who knew how to solve that problem.
Paco said that the Indian younguns had already give us Bent-Y younguns a gift. They gave the gift of friendship and that was the best gift of all. Us Bent-Y younguns made them pictures to show we was givin' the gift of friendship back.
When Paco was sayin' all that he sounded just like the chief and our daddy makin' them ceremonial speeches. Paco's kind of a wind-bag, like Spike, but that's all right. So long as he don't be a wind-bag on me, I'm proud of him when he talks so good.
What Paco said satisfied the chief and Daddy was real proud of Paco for savin' the chief's feelin's.
The Sergeant-Major was still in charge of them troopers and them Indians was bein' done a whole lot different than when they came. Qua's daddy was ridin' a horse that was give to him by our daddy and some of them real old braves and squaws and them real young ones was ridin' a wagon Daddy loaned the army. Me and Paco rode Happy and Hunter along with Qua who was sittin' that horse behind his daddy. We rode to the boundary of the Bent-Y range. Paco was cryin' some when Qua went off and you could see that Qua was some sad, but he's a Indian and Indians don't cry. Qua said that if his daddy lets him, he'll come back with them braves for the spring round-up.
Paco and me sat our horses by that line shack until them Indians was out of sight. Paco didn't say nothin' for a long time so I didn't either. This was Paco's time and I was proud that he wanted me by him while he was havin' it. When I got to know Qua some, I seen why Paco liked him so good and I stopped bein' jealous. I got some ashamed that I ever was in the first place. I reckon I was about as sad to see Qua go as Paco was.
Finally Paco said, "Sam, I almost come to think that everything that happened to me before I got to be a Flynn was real bad but seein' Qua again made me remember that there was some real good times too. Do you remember me sayin' that Qua was a good friend but because he was a Indian and I wasn't, we knew we couldn't be friends forever?"
I remembered.
"Well, Sam, things are changin'. Maybe we can be friends forever. But you know somethin' funny? Qua's my friend and I like him real good but that first night he was sleepin' in my bed I got to thinkin', 'Qua was by me in all them bad times and his daddy saw to it that I didn't die when Vox was too dumb to give me food. Qua and his daddy done me real good but I don't love them. I like them real good but they ain't my daddy and my brother. They're just good friends. Sam and my daddy are family.' Sam, you're a good brother and a good friend. I love you, Sam."
What do you say to somethin' like that? I love Paco too, but I couldn't say it. I got water in my eyes and a big lump in my throat that wouldn't let me talk. Paco knew why I didn't say nothin'. He seen the water and he knew about the lump. He reined Happy over and hugged me. What do you say about a brother who loves you like that?