For several days I've seen Tommy limping. As soon as he's home from school, he takes off his feet and puts on the little boots. Even then he uses his crutches, putting all his weight on his left leg. Knowing he's still a little reluctant to talk about himself, I wait until Mike's not around to ask, "Why are you having trouble walking?"
He looks at me steadily for a moment, then takes off the boot on his right leg and holds it up. "My little foot is awful sore."
I look at the tiny appendage and see it's flattened and terribly red. He winces when I touch it.
"I think you'd better have that looked at. It could be serious."
He shakes his head. "It'll be okay. It's happened before, but not this bad."
"Do you have a free period tomorrow?"
He shakes his head. "My last classes is over at eleven."
"Then come by my office when you get out. We'll go over to the medical center and have that looked after."
He shakes his head. "Don't want no doctor."
"You're covered by student insurance and I don't want you having this trouble. The university has a fine medical school, so you'll get good care."
"Please don't make me go."
"Look, babe, I just want to be certain this won't lead to something worse. I'll go with you."
"Well ... I guess, if you go with me."
"Come by my office as soon as you get out of class. We'll go from there. And put your crutches in the car, just in case."
Luckily, there's no crowd in the student medical service office, so we're taken back to an examining room as soon as I help Tommy fill out the usual paperwork. A few seconds later a young intern comes in. After telling him the problem, Tommy slips off his foot and holds out his stump.
"I'll be damned! A true congenital amputee. You're the first one I've ever seen." He examines the tiny foot and stands. "I think I'd better get someone else to look at this. It's out of my field." He picks up the phone and has another doctor paged.
Within five minutes an older man comes to the door. They confer for a few minutes outside, before the older doctor also examines Tommy.
"Have you always put your weight on it when you walked?" He asks.
"Yes, sir."
"I don't know how you've managed the pain. It should come off immediately. It could be pre-cancerous."
"But I have to go to classes, sir."
"This is Friday." The man finally smiles. "It's a minor procedure I can do right here. Won't take but a few minutes. You'll have to use crutches for two or three days, then you should have no more trouble. You can attend class on Monday."
Tommy reaches out and grabs my hand. "Drew?"
"Let him do it so you won't have any more trouble."
"Stay."
I squeeze his hand. "Okay."
"I would prefer you didn't." The doctor says to me.
"If my son wants me to stay, I will. I'm not going to pass out if that's what you're afraid of. I'm a marine biologist, so I'm no stranger to the sight of blood."
He shrugs. "I'll be doing this under a local, so if it will relieve his anxiety, I'll go along with it. Okay, young man, strip down to your T-shirt and shorts, take off that other foot, and lie down." He sticks his head out the door and calls to a nurse, then begins to scrub at the sink in the corner.
A nurse rolls in a cart covered with a white cloth, and picks up a razor to shave the lower part of Tommy's leg. I don't know why, since he has practically no body hair. He winces once when she gets near his foot. After she's finished, I pull up the stool the doctor sat on and take Tommy's hand in mine. The intern swabs the area with betadine, then picks up a hypodermic and begins to inject anesthetic in several places. Tommy grasps my hand so hard it's painful. Only when the doctor puts a shot into the place where the foot joins the leg does Tommy cry out.
"Sorry it hurt. That's the last one."
Five minutes later the surgeon drops the tiny foot into a basin with a grunt of satisfaction, then turns back to his work. Twenty minutes later, Tommy's stump is bandaged and he's ready to go home.
"I'll call you in a day or two with the result of the biopsy, Doctor Torrence." He looks at Tommy. "You're a brave young man to have endured the pain you must have had. I removed a small neuroma, so you shouldn't have any more discomfort. You'll have to have the fit of your prostheses checked. I'd suggest new ones, because those are about the worst pieces of work I've ever seen. Want me to make an appointment with our prosthetics department for you?"
I'm surprised to hear a doctor so openly critical. "Yes," I say before Tommy can answer.
"I'll have them give you a call, Doctor Torrence. Give me your phone numbers."
I write them down on a prescription blank he hands me, then take the codine tablets he holds out.
"I'll give him one now. Give him another tonight, and one tomorrow morning. He can have the other four if he has lingering discomfort, but not more than one every eight hours." He pats Tommy on the shoulder. "Good man."
Tommy dresses and puts on his left foot. Holding the other one in his lap, he sits in the wheelchair the orderly pushes to the door. When he's in the car, we go home.
"You feel okay?" I ask during the drive.
"I guess. Can't feel nothing in my leg, though."
"You will in a little while. Why didn't you tell me you always had pain when you walked?"
"I didn't know it wasn't supposed to hurt. It always has."
I reach for his hand and squeeze it. "I'm sorry you never told anyone and went through all that. Soon as we can, we'll get you new feet that don't hurt."
When I park in front of the apartment building, I turn to see tears in his eyes. "Are you hurting, babe?"
He shakes his head. "You're so good to me. You're what I always dreamed a real dad would be like if I had one."
"I want to be your dad just like I'm Mike's, but I'll warn you now, you're likely to get yelled at if you do something I don't like."
"That's what dad's are for." He hugs me. "I love you, dad."
"I love you too, son."
Tommy's stretched out on the sofa watching TV, and I'm having a drink when Mike comes in. "Why didn't you wait for me? I had to walk home," he says accusingly.
"A little exercise won't hurt you for once."
"It's my car."
"Just a minute, Michael. Tor and I did give it to you, but it's in my name. I had to take Tommy to the hospital, so your wants come last."
"Oh. You sick, Tommy?" He asks with immediate concern.
"They cut my little foot off. I'm sorry you had to walk home."
"Forget it. How come?"
"Because it was hurting him. Haven't you noticed?"
"I guess not. I'm sorry, Tommy."
"That's better. Now come help me get dinner started. Tor should be here soon."
When Tommy doesn't get up to greet him, Tor is immediately concerned. He sits down by Tommy to hear the details of the operation, then praises him for having it. After we're in bed, he says, "I wish I hadn't bought that damned hand, with the kid needing new feet."
"It won't break us."
"No, but I was thinking about getting him a lap-top like Mike's. Guess the computer will have to wait. His feet are more important."
"You're damn right they are." I tell him what Tommy said about never knowing it shouldn't hurt to walk. "I've already made an appointment for the fitting. I'll cash in the CD I've got coming up for renewal. That will cover it."
"That's yours from the book."
"So what? Tommy's our son. He may not be adopted like Mike, but he's becoming more dependent trying to work out in his mind what a family is all about. I know the chief said Indians look out for each other, but I don't think he was shown much love with it. I'm sure he thinks he loves us because we've given him things he's never had before, but I want him to learn real love. He's becoming more openly affectionate toward Mike."
I'm glad. I'm sorry I'm not around so he can get to know me better."
"He will. Give him time. He's learning from Mike. Oh, yeah, I also talked him into dropping economics and taking a basic English course. I realized how much he needed it when I looked at a paper he wrote. I'm hoping it improves his spoken English as well."
"Good. He does sort of murder the language."
Tommy goes back to classes on crutches and one foot. We have agreed that he will come to my office when he finishes his last class and, on the days I have a long lab period, Mike will take him home and wait for me to call. I'm relieved when I get the lab report that there was no sign of any abnormal condition in the foot.
The prosthetic technician we see is new since I was last here. He quickly puts Tommy at ease and does his job with economy. He finishes and looks at Tommy with a smile. "When you get your new feet, you're going to be at least an inch taller. I'm using a newly developed foot so you can run in comfort."
"Man, if I can just walk without hurtin' it'll be enough."
"If these hurt you, I'll want to see you back here immediately if not sooner."
"Thanks, I can't hardly wait."
When he takes his first steps on the new feet, I've never seen with a wider smile than Tommy's. "Oh, wow! These don't hurt at all!" The next thing we know, he's sprinting down the hall and back. I'm a little envious that my first experience wasn't so great, but I'm delighted for Tommy. He grabs me in a big hug. "Thanks, dad. These are wonderful," he says, then grabs the tech's hand. "Thanks a lot."
The tech grins. "Glad to have a satisfied customer." He hands me a business card. "If he has any problems, ask for me. I'll be glad to help you, too, Doctor Torrence."
"How'd you know?"
"I can spot a prosthesis no matter how well someone walks with one."
Tommy positively dances out of the hospital. When it comes, the bill is going to put a serious dent in my bank account, but it's worth every penny seeing the magical effect on him.
Though I try to argue him out of it, he insists on walking home from school the next day. When he comes in, he hugs me with tears in his eyes. "It's so wonderful to walk without hurting."
"Your feet didn't bother you?"
"They're fantastic." He hugs me again. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world."
Mike comes in with the groceries I sent him to buy. He sets the bags down and looks at Tommy. "See you made it."
"Yeah, man. It was a great walk."
"Can you believe this guy, dad? Actually wanting to walk home, when he could ride."
"What if you had pain every time you took a step?"
"For sure I'd sit on my ass more. Couldn't have played soccer either."
"That's how it's been for me, my brother. Today's the first time I ever walked without hurtin'. I wish you knew how wonderful it feels."
Mike hugs him. "You never told me. I'm glad you don't hurt any more."
As soon as I have a moment, I call Tor to share the news. He's as happy for Tommy as I.
When we go home for the 4th Tommy starts to put his bag down, then realizes the space where his bed had been is empty. "Where'm I gonna sleep?" He asks plaintively.
Tor grins. "That's the surprise I have for you." He walks over and pulls a trundle bed from under Mike's bunk. "This one is yours, Tommy."
The work has been done so neatly I wouldn't have noticed it. That tells me Gary most likely did it.
"Gee, thanks! Look, Mike, it slides right under yours. Be sure you don't step on me if you get up at night. Gee, I don't even have to make it up like you do, cause nobody'll see it." He hugs Tor. "Thanks. Now I got my own bed I feel like I really belong here."
"You do belong, babe. You're our son."
I'm surprised to see Tommy wipe his eyes. "Ain't nobody ever wanted me enough to do all this. I got a home an' my own bed, an' a brother, an' new feet, an' everything. I'm sure lucky."
Mike hugs him. "Hey, guy, you're my brother."
I toss Tommy some sheets and a pillowcase. "If you're Mike's brother, you make up your own bed like he does."
He catches them with a big grin. "Yeah."
"And hurry up," Mike says, starting to shed his clothes.
"For what?"
"We're going swimming. It'll feel good to get in the water."
"Good idea, Mike. We'll join you." Tor says. "Come on, Drew."
Tommy strips without a moment's hesitation, then looks at Mike. "I ain't got no swim suit."
Mike pulls another pair of his Speedos from the drawer and tosses them to Tommy. He pulls them on, but they're so loose on his slender frame they slide down. Mike giggles. "Damn, you're one scrawny Indian."
Tommy grins. "Better than being a fat Anglo."
"Who you calling fat?"
"You."
Mike lunges for him and they fall to the deck wrestling. Tor and I watch with amusement. Mike's not fat, but he has a muscular build. The exercise from his soccer playing and swimming have made him strong, so he's a good match for Tommy whose arms bulge with muscles. It takes a few minutes before Mike's pinned Tommy down. "Take it back."
Tommy grins. "Okay." When Mike eases up, Tommy's arms pull him back down in a hug. "I love you, brother."
"I love you, too."
When they get up, I hand Tommy a pair of my trunks, which fit him reasonably well, but I have to stop him as he's about to go out the door. "Feet, Tommy."
He gives me a sheepish look. "They feel so good I forgot." He sits down and takes them off, then looks up. "I don't have my crutches."
I have to have mine, but Mike remembers and pulls my old wooden ones from the cabinet. "Here you go."
If we're working off the boat, or we're at the ocean, I can just plunge in, but here the water's shallow for a long way, so Tor has to help me in, while Mike helps Tommy. Soon they're happily splashing around in the warm water. Mike wades out further and begins to swim with his lazy crawl. Tommy balances enough to stand watching. "Boy! Look at him go."
Tor puts his arm around Tommy. "Let's get out deeper, and I'll teach you."
I watch Tor put Tommy through the same tough routine he used on me. Memories flood back, reminding me just how much I love that big blond.