Whore's Bastard

Chapter Eighteen

One mornin', about two weeks before school was gonna start, we come out for chorin' and Uncle Kevin, Uncle Brian, Señor Pablo, Virgil's daddy, and Nate's daddy was all out by the big corral, kinda leanin' on the top rail. Usually Virgil and Nate had their chorin' away from where I done mine but this mornin' they was there too. When we got there, Uncle Kevin said, "I reckon you boys are big enough for an adventure. It's just two weeks before you'll be spendin' your days in school instead of on your horses or in that swimmin' hole and we got to thinkin', might be you'd like to do some real cowboyin' before you go to those books. Do you boys think you can drive these horses over to the west herd?"

This was grown up cowboyin' work. Lots of them cowboys, chasin' them half wild steers and eatin' dust all day would love to be one of Señor Pablo's wranglers and we was gettin' to be some. There was about twenty head there so this wasn't no baby thing we was bein' asked to do. This was important ranch work and was we ever excited.

One thing you got to learn how to do if you're gonna be a cowboy is not show nobody nothin' what you're thinkin'. For a cowboy to act excited is almost as bad as lettin' your horse get away from you and havin' to walk home. You just don't do them things and if you do, nobody ever lets you forget it. I reckon us five boys looked some funny, bein' about to bust with excitement but tryin' to act like we done this sort of thing every day. The only one who really showed his excitement was Nate. He was one for havin' to piss every time somethin' excitin' happened. I already seen him get so excited he done it in his britches. He got around the corner of the barn quick enough this time though.

Uncle Kevin said, "Virgil's been with his daddy to the west herd headquarters many times and he knows the way. Anyway, he's the oldest so he's going to be the trail boss. The rest of you boys have to do what he says. That's the way it is when you're a cowboy. Even if you think you have a better way, you do it the trail boss's way. If he asks you what you think, it's all right to tell him but when he decides how he wants it done, you do what he says. Do you understand that?"

We understood. Virgil was real proud but he didn't act uppity like Katy would have if she was trail boss. He was just bein' Virgil but you could tell he wasn't playin'. He was takin' his responsibility seriously. It would take us until just before noon to get them horses to the west herd but it would be faster comin' back cause we wouldn't be drivin' nothin'. The swimmin' hole wasn't that far from where we was takin' them horses and Uncle Kevin said we could stop for a swim as long as we were back before dark.

All the mamas and the littler boys and the girls were standin' on the other side of the corral. You could tell them mamas was some worried. Aunt Lydia started to shout somethin' across the corral but Uncle Kevin cut her off. "Lyd, now, we had this out. I wouldn't send these boys out if I thought this was too much for them. My God, woman. You're almost as bad as Shay with your mother-hennin'. It took me four letters before I got him to say his boys could go."

Them daddies was makin' us do everything a grown cowboy would have to do. We had to catch our horses and saddle them. Virgil sent me to the cook shack to get the found the cook had for us. It was trail found, beans and jerky and we was gonna have to cook it ourselves. That didn't worry me none. We had Paco with us.

When we was all mounted, Virgil's daddy said, "Set your men, son. Explain to them good what is their job. Most times when a good man don't do his job, it's 'cause the boss didn't explain it good."

Virgil said he was gonna ride point. Juan and Danny was to ride right side and Paco and Nate, left side. I was gonna start out ridin' drag but Virgil said we was gonna change off so nobody would have to eat dust all mornin'. "Them horses will probably want to stay together so drag shouldn't be too big a job but if one slows down, the drag man has to keep him with the rest. Side men, you keep them horses followin' the point man. Does everybody know what he's 'sposed to do? If you got questions, ask now. We ain't gonna have no time for no questions once we get them horses movin'."

Nobody had no questions. I reckon Virgil told us good. You look at his daddy, you seen his daddy thought he done good too. Even for a cowboy who ain't 'sposed to show you nothin' what he's thinkin', ain't no daddy can hide his proud when his boy does good. I seen that in all them Bent-Y daddies. Since Nate done some growin' up, you seen it in his daddy. You see it in Uncle Kevin all the time. That's 'cause Danny is already a good cow man. Ain't much he don't know about ranchin', seems like. His daddy talks to him about ranchin' things like he was a man. I reckon, you can see that proud in all them daddies but ain't no proud so pretty to see as when it's comin' from your own daddy. I seen it for Paco and I seen it for me and it's about the same pretty. Now that I think on it, I reckon when it's for me, it is some prettier.

We was all so excited that we was ready to agree to anything and Nate had to go around the corner of the barn again. We was told not to stop to eat until we got to the west herd. "Once you get them horses started, you keep them goin'. If you stop, they'll probably go to scatterin' and you'll lose playin' time on the way back. Watch them too, when they figure out where they're goin'. When they know they're goin' home, you'll need to keep them in check. Virgil, you might want to put two riders on point do them horses get to runnin' too fast." Señor Pablo knows his horses. I reckon that was good advice.

He talks English real good but he has that Mexican accent. Paco and Juan fun on us talkin' that way some. I can't do it. I wish I could. I like the way it sounds.

We got them horses started and the excitement kind of left us. We was still proud that we was gettin' to do grown men's work but we had to pay attention to what we was doin'. I reckon proud doesn't take as much of your thinkin' as excitement. Anyway, I seen I didn't have no time for excitement but I was still some proud.

Most of them horses was seasoned cow ponies that were either hurt or sent to Señor Pablo to be shod. They was all pretty gentle. There was one kind of jug headed black that kept givin' Paco some trouble always wantin' to go off to the left but I got the sense that that horse was some like Paco. He was more funnin' than bein' ornery. He seemed like he belonged on the Bent-Y. He loved playin' tricks on folks. I was some disappointed that there were no stragglers. I wanted to chase me a horse or two but those horses followed along like they didn't need us at all.

Before I had time to think on if the dust them horses was kickin' up was botherin' me, Juan come back. He said that Virgil told him to take drag. I was to ride front, right side. I almost felt disappointed. Them grown cowboys was always talkin' about eatin' dust and, if I done it, I didn't know it. I reckon I'd have felt more like a grown cowboy if I could have spit a little mud.

As we went along, it got a little more fun. Seemed like it come to some of them horses that they was bein' bossed by a bunch of boys and they didn't take too good to that. They started gettin' minds of their own, or else they was funnin' us. They'd start off in one direction or the other but they wasn't no trouble to get back. We had to work a little harder to keep them followin' the point man but I think Señor Pablo sent us out with horses he knew wouldn't give us much trouble.

Virgil kept changing drag until we all took our turn. Virgil, shy as he was, liked to fun on folks but now he was all business. He wasn't no uppity boss but bein' boss seemed like it took away his shy. Mostly when he told you somethin', it sounded more like a question than a tellin'. It sounded almost like he was askin' if it was all right with you if he talked. But today, he said right out what he wanted and you knew he meant it. I liked the regular Virgil real good but I liked this kind of Virgil better.

Since Nate started his growin' up, he's a whole lot easier to like. In fact, me and Paco and Danny and Juan was talkin' about it and we decided we was some proud of Nate, how he was doin'. But, from what I told you about me and my goin' off and not thinkin' about folks worryin' about me, you know folks don't change all at once. Nate still would go to fussin' sometimes, just out of habit, I reckon. He fussed with Virgil when he was told to ride drag. On most days Virgil would have give in and rode drag hisself but today he told Nate to get back on drag or he'd get his ass whipped and if Virgil couldn't do it, Nate's daddy would do it when we got home. Nate rode drag.

There wasn't no need to put two point men. After them horses got done testin' us or funnin' us, they done real good. They kept a steady pace. It looked some like a old roan mare was the boss horse of that bunch. She kept herself right in the middle in the front and when one of them other horses tried to get in front of her, she bit it on the neck. They kept back and followed her pace. I ain't sure how horses think but I know my mare takes care of me. I told you how she'd move under me if she felt me fallin'. I sometimes get the feelin' she thought she was my mama. I got the feelin' that that old roan mare thought she was our mama and she was seein' to it that none of them other horses give her boys no trouble.

We were tired and hot and hungry when we got them horses to the west herd but, by God, we got them there and they was all there too. One of them cowboys saw us comin' and took down the gate rails and we drove them horses into that corral. Them west herd cowboys still had a cookin' fire but they said they was told not to save us no found. Virgil's daddy said that if we was gonna be cowboys, we was gonna have to learn to do for ourselfs. All them boys got a new respect for Paco the way he went right to fixin' them beans and how good they tasted. I knew he was good with beans so it didn't surprise me none but I was proud and got a real lovin' feelin' at how them other boys and even them grown cowboys went on at how good he done.

After we ate and cleaned up we was just layin' around on the ground like we seen them cowboys do after eatin' and before they went back to ridin'. It was hot and I got to thinkin' on how good that swimmin' hole would feel. Before I could say nothin', Juan said, "Hell of a boss you turn out to be. Trail boss 'sposed to take good care of his men. You're lettin' us lay here and cook when you could have us soakin' our asses in that swimmin' hole."

Virgil said, "My job was to boss gettin' them horses here. That job's done. If I knowed I was still the boss, we'd have been ridin' for that swimmin' hole a long time ago. So, get your asses in them saddles, men. We're gonna get ourselfs wet."

Virgil was still takin' the lead when we started back. I reckon most of us knew the way back but we wasn't takin' no chances of gettin' lost and losin' time in that swimmin' hole. We was still lettin' Virgil be the boss. We was proud of ourselfs. We done a man's work and we done it good and we knew we was gonna get to do it some more.

Paco and Juan started talkin' like them Mexicans who don't hardly know how to talk English and they was sayin' some real funny things. We got to laughin' so hard that Nate pissed his britches again. Not much, but there was a round wet spot there about the size of Daddy's coffee saucer before he got off his horse, dropped his britches and pissed where you're supposed to piss, on the ground, not in your britches. Nate got to braggin' about how far he could piss, even when he'd lost some in his britches and that was a challenge we couldn't let pass. Danny won but I didn't hardly have to go so it wasn't really fair. I'm sure I already pissed farther than that when I really had a lot in me.

Virgil had put that found sack in his saddle bag and he went to funnin' on Nate. He was gonna put that sack on Nate for a diaper. We all got to laughin' and to show you how much Nate had changed, he was laughin' the hardest of all. He would have went off mad or cryin' before.

We was comin' almost in sight of the swimmin' hole, ridin' kind of in a straight line, still laughin' and funnin' on each other. I felt real good for Virgil. He done good and he seemed more sure of hisself than I ever knew him to be before. I liked Virgil real good but there was somethin' kind of sad about him too. He could do things real good and I couldn't see no reason for him to be so shy. It made me feel good to see him bein' just like the rest of us.

We was ridin' past a grove of cottonwoods along the creek leadin' up to the swimmin' hole when we heard a shot. The bullet hit right in front of Happy and it made him shy and rare. I think Paco could stay on a horse if that damn horse turned a somersault so that rarin' and shyin' didn't bother Paco none. Since he got over his malnutrition and got his strong, Paco was as good a rider as Rosie. Maybe better. He liked to ride, like them Indians did, without a saddle. He said when you ride that way, you ride more with your knees than your feet since you don't have no stirrups. He was ridin' with a saddle today but when he was ridin' Indian style, he give you the feelin' you will you was watchin' a eagle soarin' - he was so smooth and what our daddy called 'graceful'. He looked like he was part of the horse - like Happy was growin' right out of his ass.

We heard another shot. I reckon this one was in the air 'cause I didn't see no dust jump or no horse shy. We seen two men walkin' toward us from them cottonwoods. One of them said, "Pull up, sprouts, don't you want to be buzzard bait!"

I knew the one who done the talkin' right off. He was the one who was holdin' Hunter while Jigger was beatin' on Paco in Amarillo. I never seen the other one before but I seen a lot of men like him. He was so drunk he could hardly stand up. He was tryin' to walk toward us but he kept goin' off to the side and then back to the other side. The one who done the talkin', the one with the gun, was walkin' a little better but not much. I got a mad on me right off. I didn't see no goddam drunk since I been on the Bent-Y and I didn't like what they was makin' me remember.

They started talkin' about the railroad and losin' their jobs and them goddam greasers takin' them. They went right for Paco and Juan and before I knew what was happenin', the real wobbly one had pulled Paco from Happy and throwed him on the ground. He didn't just let him fall. He kind of put Paco over his head and throwed him on the ground.

'Course there ain't no doubt about me bein' my daddy's son but if you was wonderin' about it, did you see my mad when that damn drunk done Paco like that, you'd have known there was a whole lot of Seamus Flynn in me. I ain't a man like my daddy so I done more than just go to shakin'. I went to cryin' and cussin' like I never heard nobody say "cussin' wasn't for decent folks." The one with the gun, the one I knowed from Amarillo, was just some in front of me watchin' the other one goin' for Juan. Paco was layin' on the ground, kind of holdin' his arm. I knew he was bad hurt and that made my mad take over my thinkin'. I just thought about that damn drunk doin' my brother bad. I didn't think about no gun or gettin' shot. I just rode that damn drunk with the gun down. Jumped Hunter right into him and knocked him down.

When Hunter hit him, he went flyin' one way and the gun went the other. I was off Hunter that quick and kicked the gun away from that drunk who was crawling toward it. I got to the gun and Virgil - who was off his horse about as quick as I was - was all over that drunk. When Juan seen there was no gun on him he turned his horse into the one who done Paco bad. As soon as they had knocked him down, Juan and Danny was all over him. It looked like Paco was tryin' to help but he was only usin' one hand. I couldn't tell real good. I was mostly payin' attention to kickin' the shit out of the one who used to have the gun.

Virgil yelled at Nate who was still sittin' his horse, "Go on back to the west camp and fetch some of them men."

"Nate started to argue but me and Virgil said almost at the same time, "Go, Goddamit!"

He turned his horse and galloped off toward the west camp.

Those men were so drunk they wasn't hard to get the best of. After they seen fightin' us wasn't gonna do them no good, they just sat there lookin' like they was wonderin' what the hell went wrong. I didn't think they would try nothin' more but I held the gun on them anyway.

Daddy was like my mama. He wouldn't let me shoot my gun. I didn't even know where that gun was but I was a boy and I never knew a boy who didn't want to hold a gun and do some shootin'. I was likin' holdin' this gun on them men. This was another man thing to do. At first I thought it was fun. But my mad was still on me and I got to thinkin' what that son-a- bitch done to my brother. Before I knew it, I was thinkin', "I'm gonna kill that bastard. That son-a-bitch didn't have to throw my brother on the ground like that. Looks like he broke Paco's arm. I'm gonna kill that bastard."

When it come to me what I was thinkin', I give the gun to Virgil and told him to hold it on them drunks. I was afraid, mad as I was, I might really shoot them drunks.

I got to thinkin' on Paco. I seen when he got throwed on the ground he fell on his arm and he come up holdin' it like it was hurtin' him. Even from some distance off, I could tell it was some swolled already and his hand was pointed a way it wasn't 'sposed to be pointed. I ain't never seen one but I heard tell of broke arms. Only way I knew of that Paco's hand could be pointed the way it was, was if his arm was broke.

I went to him and he started to cry. When I seen it close, I knew his arm was broke and I reckon anybody would cry for that. I hugged him real careful so I wouldn't hurt him more and he said, "Sam, are them people gonna do me like this all my life? I got to thinkin' that it was all over when our daddy found us. My arm is hurtin' but that ain't why I'm cryin'. It hurts me in my chest when folks do me bad. I just plain out had too much of it."

He was right. Nobody, and sure as hell no youngun, ought to be done like Paco was done most of his life. I knew that it had to be worse since he thought all them bad things was past. I wanted to do like my daddy. I wanted to hold him close and say them things that would make him feel better. But I didn't know any of them things. I felt helpless and that made me more mad. All I could think of to say was, "Don't worry none. Me and Daddy love you and Daddy will see that them bastards get theirs."

I couldn't make him stop cryin' like Daddy could, but I could cry with him. I put my head on his shoulder and cried. I don't think I ever had that hurtin' in the chest that bad before. I was cryin' for that and for bein' so mad.

I don't know how long I sat there holdin' Paco like that. I could hear Danny cryin' for us and it felt good knowin' my cousin loved us and was hurtin' for us. We wasn't alone even if our daddy wasn't here. When I looked up I seen tears in Juan's and Virgil's eyes, too. This was the way it should be for younguns: folks carin' for you and feelin' your hurts with you. Feelin' all that love and carin' made the mad and hurt seem worse. Them drunk son-a-bitches wasn't 'sposed to be in our lives no more. All them bad happenin's was 'sposed to be behind us. Me and Paco wasn't no whore's bastard or goddam greaser pup no more. We was Sam and Paco Flynn but that didn't make no difference. Shouldn't nobody be done like we was. Thinkin' like that got me so mad that I left Paco and went to where them drunks was sittin'. Virgil was still holdin' the gun on them but I didn't think about that. I reckon I went crazy, like. I punched and kicked on them and cussed them like I was a crazy boy. I could hear Virgil say, "Sam, you got to try to get hold of yourself," but I didn't pay him no mind. I just kept kickin' and punchin' and cussin' and cryin'. Them drunks was swingin' their arms around tryin' to stop me but, even was they gettin' some sober now, I was so mad they was gettin' hit and kicked a awful lot.

"We're folks, goddamit. We're folks and shouldn't no folks be done like you done my brother. You ain't got no right to go bad-mouthin' and hurtin' on folks and we're folks, goddamit!"

I don't know how long I done that but after while I felt somebody pick me up from behind. I was still kind of crazy so I went to fightin' whoever that was, tryin' to get back at them drunks. I felt familiar arms go around me and I smelled a familiar smell and I heard my daddy's voice say, "It's fine now, son. I'm here. Nobody's going to do any more hurting or bad-mouthing."

I turned and looked at him. I knew it was him but it took me a spell to think what him bein' here meant. It meant we was safe. We was back in our new world. I hugged him real tight and put my head on his chest and I sobbed. I felt his arms go tighter around me and I heard him sayin' them quietin' words and I felt him kissin' my forehead. I felt the mad slippin' from me and that red-headed cowboy feelin' comin' in. God! I loved that man! I could feel myself start to relax and then I thought of Paco's arm.

"Daddy, I think Paco's got a broke arm."

I heard one of the cowboys from the west herd say, "It do look like it, Shay. Do you want I should ride for the Doc?"

"Get Doc Brent from Pampa. Doc Browning works out of Pampa some. Don't get him. I don't want that Mexican hating bastard on the Bent-Y. Bring the sheriff. Eph," Daddy said to another of the west herd cowboys, "you keep an eye on these two until the sheriff gets here. Tell him what happened and that I want them held. I'll be in Pampa tomorrow to press charges."

Daddy walked on over and looked at Paco. He hugged him and asked, "Does it hurt bad, Son?"

Paco said that he reckoned so but he wanted to ride on home and not wait for the doctor here. Daddy said, "You aren't going anywhere until I get a splint on that arm."

Daddy cut a cottonwood branch about as big around as Paco's arm. He cut it just some longer than from Paco's elbow to the end of his fingers. With that big knife he always carries he split it right down the middle so it had a flat side. Real gentle, he put Paco's hurt arm on that flat side. He asked for everyone's kerchief and all them grown men had one. Daddy tied them kerchiefs around Paco's arm and that branch and when he was done, that branch was keepin' Paco's arm from changin' shape. I don't know how my daddy knows them things. Paco's hand was still pointin' funny but he could move his arm around some and not have it hurt as much and Daddy said, "That splint will keep those broken bones from moving around and doing more damage."

You seen fire in Daddy's eyes and you knew he was mad but he hardly paid no mind to them drunks. I seen that in his mad he could pay attention to what was more important to him. The law would take care of them drunks. He would take care of his son.

Daddy took a rawhide thong from his saddle bag and made a big circle out of it and put it around Paco's neck. You seen it hurt Paco to move that arm, even when it was in that splint but Daddy was real gentle with him and they got that arm in the other end of that circle. None of us boys had a kerchief and all them men's had been used to keep Paco's arm from movin' on that branch. Daddy asked did we have anything else that he could use to keep that thong from cuttin' into Paco's neck. Virgil remembered that found sack and Daddy rolled it up and put it between Paco's neck and that thong. When Daddy got him standin' up, Paco didn't have to put no strain on his arm by tryin' to hold it up. That thong circle held it right across his belly.

Daddy picked Paco up and set him real easy on Happy. Them horses are somethin'. I swear that horse knew that Paco was hurt and stood real still. I even seen flies on him and he didn't shake or stamp his foot like them horses do. Daddy was gonna lead Happy so all Paco would have to do was sit there and when Daddy led Happy over to his gray, Happy walked real smooth, almost like he was floatin'.

I was about done cryin' but when Daddy was seein' to Paco I could hear Danny cryin' real hard. Danny had had a lot of love all his life and nothin' like this had ever happened to him before. I reckon learnin' about the ugliness that's in the world and seein' his cousin, who he had come to love, done like he was was too much for him. Juan and Virgil and some of them west herd cowboys was tryin' to comfort him but they wasn't doin' too good. When Daddy was about to get on his gray, it come to him what was happenin' with Danny. He took him like he does me and Paco and held him real close and talked soft to him and kissed his forehead and, I reckon, I don't have to tell you what happened. As big and strong and tough as he is and as mad as he can get, our daddy's the most lovin' and understandin' man there could be.

When Danny was done cryin', Daddy set him on his horse. He thanked Juan and Virgil and Nate for bein' such good friends and helpin' like they done. About the time I think I got all the learnin' and feelin's that's gonna come from livin' on the Bent-Y and havin' a family, I learn somethin' new or get a new feelin'. I felt some warm on how them friends done us but I felt real warm when I seen my daddy comfortin' Danny. Them friends was good but Danny was family.

Daddy's mad stayed with him when we was ridin' home but he held on to it. He was givin' his thinkin' to seein' that nothin' more happened to Paco and worryin' on was he hurtin'. He did take time to tell me that it was just chance that he was at the west herd when Nate come ridin' in. He had got a wire from Grandpa Walton when he was in Austin. That wire said he had some good news about both me and Paco.

Daddy always leaves his gray in Amarillo when he takes the train to Austin so he would have gone to Amarillo anyway. He just went there sooner when he got Grandpa's Walton's wire. The legislature wasn't even done yet. He told us that the legislature was important but not as important as his boys and he couldn't think on no new laws while he was wonderin' what the news about his boys was anyway. He caught the next train for Amarillo.

Even hurt like he was, Paco was as interested in what that news was as I was. Daddy reached in that pocket them men have inside their coats, up there by their chest and pulled out a paper. He gave it to me. I could read all the words but I didn't know for sure what was their meanin'. The paper said, "This is to certify that Samuel Martin Flynn, son of Seamus Flynn and Amelia Martin, was born in the city of San Fransisco, California on November 15, 1885." It said some other stuff and had some handwritin' on the bottom and a big round gold thing that had words pressed into it.

"What does this mean, Daddy?"

"When you were born, your mama told the doctor that I was your daddy. That's your Birth Certificate. That says that you are my blood son. Your name's been Flynn since the day you were born."

I reined Hunter over close to his gray and gave him a hug but that paper didn't mean nothin'. I knew he was my daddy.

Paco looked anxious. "What did Grandpa Walton say about me?"

"It's good news, Son. It's not as definite as Sam's Birth Certificate but it's good news. Do you remember when you told me about those trees that looked like a man holding up his arms?"

"Yes."

"I told you at the time that they almost had to be Saguaro cactus. Jasper Walton talked to a Pinkerton friend of his and they thought it was worth looking into. The Pinkertons sent a man down to saguaro country to see about any border raids between eight and eleven years ago. There haven't been many, so it was easy for people to remember the last few raids.

"Our Pinkerton found out that in 1889 one particularly bad bunch was operating along the Mexican-Arizona border. They weren't Comencheros but they operated just like them. They took anything of value, murdered the men and either murdered or kidnapped the women. There were still a few Indian tribes that would pay for stolen children so usually the children were kidnapped and sold. The villages were always burned.

"In April of 1889 that group of bandits raided the Village of San Miguel in Arizona territory. According to the stories being told in Tucson, they did as they usually did: robbed and killed people, took some women and children and burned the village.

"You see, boys, it was important for Indian women to have sons so they would have someone to take care of them in their old age. If the woman was unable to have children or if she had only daughters, Indians would often steal children from other tribes or from Mexican or white people and give them to women who had no sons. Those children were loved and raised as if they had been born into the tribe. For the Comencheros and later the border bandits, there was a good profit in stolen children. They usually didn't keep the children long because they were easy to sell. That's what puzzles me about your story, Paco. You remember living with those bandits for a long time, don't you?"

"Paco shook his head "yes" and you could tell he wanted Daddy to get on with the story.

"Nobody our Pinkerton man talked to in Tucson was from San Miguel. They could just repeat what they had heard but our Pinkerton heard from several people that one of the children stolen in the San Miguel raid was a little boy of about three or four years old. We don't know yet if that boy was you, Paco but our Pinkerton is going to San Miguel to see if anyone survived who remembers who was killed and who was stolen. That child could very well have been you, Son. It's a long way to San Miguel and you can't depend on the telegraph always working so it may be a long time before we hear anything more.

"Our Pinkerton thinks that by the time of the San Miguel raid, only the Apaches were still buying children and they usually only wanted children old enough to work. Anyway, the army was making life very hard for the Apaches then so when the San Miguel children were stolen, there may have been no place to sell them. When that happened, usually the bandits would kill the children so they wouldn't be bothered with them or have to feed them. I think that little boy was you, Paco and I think your winning ways made them decide to keep you.

"What this means, Son, is that you will be living with me for a long time and probably forever. If you are that little boy, there's no doubt that you are an orphan and that when we know that for sure, Jasper will allow me to adopt you."

Paco smiled but you could also see a worry on him. "What if they find that I have a mama and daddy. Do I got to go?"

"Son, I told you how those bandits work. They never leave adults alive. Listen, you're mine and anyone who tries to take you from me will have a hell of a fight on their hands."

Paco smiled but you seen he wasn't over his worry. Daddy pulled that lead line in and drew Happy up along side him. He gave Paco a hug. "Now don't you go to worrying. I told you you're stuck with me. In a few years you're going to be worring about why your daddy won't quit bossin' you and just let you be on your own some."

He leaned over and kissed Paco's forehead and asked, "Is your arm hurting you bad, son?"

"Hurts some. I'll be glad when we're home."

Doc Brent got there about dark. I heard him tellin' Daddy that them two drunks was fired from the railroad for missin' too much work and for bein' lazy when they was there. Doc said the railroad hired some Mexicans in their place and he reckoned that's why they went for Paco and Juan. They was makin' trouble around Amarillo and the Sheriff run them out. Doc reckoned they was livin' in that grove for about a week and it was just bad luck us boys rode past them.

While he was tellin' all that to Daddy he was takin' that splint off Paco's arm. He looked at it real good and was feelin' all over it. Paco was hurtin' when the Doc was doin' all that but he didn't cry none. Doc looked at Daddy and said, "It's broke, all right but I don't think it's too bad a break He should be fine.

Doc asked me to get him a big cup of water. He took a brown bottle from that black bag all them doctors have and he poured some of what was in that bottle in that water. He gave it to Paco to drink. By the face he made, that stuff must have tasted awful.

You can't never figure out them doctors. They're supposed to make you better but seems like they're mostly hurtin' you more or makin' you drink stuff that won't kill you but you wish it would from the taste. I ain't sure why Doc made Paco drink somethin' that tasted bad but if it was to make him sleep, it sure worked good. Almost before he got it all down, Paco's eyes looked like he was lookin' at you but not seein' you. Doc said, "That laudanum works fast on a boy this size."

I knew I was some fussed when we was facin' them drunks but I thought with Daddy holdin' me and comfortin' me I was all over my fuss. But when Paco was sleepin' good, that Doc went to pullin' on his arm and it got me all fussed again. Before I knew what I was doin' I was sayin' to Daddy, "Don't that dumb son-a-bitch know Paco's got a broke arm? God almighty, you heard him say that hisself. What the hell does he think he's doin', pullin' on it like that. He's gonna hurt him worse than that damn drunk."

Daddy patted me on the head and smiled and said to the Doc, "Sorry about that, Doc. These boys are very protective of each other. They've been through some things in their lives and they've come to love each other very much and they take care of each other."

Doc looked at me and smiled. "We need more folks that care about each other like you do your brother. I reckon one of the things you have to learn in life, son, is that sometimes to make things better you have to take some pain. But don't worry about your brother. He's sleeping very deeply and he can't feel what I'm doing. Feel here."

He pointed to that part of Paco's arm right where his hand started to point off in a funny way. I felt it and then Doc told me to feel the other arm. "Can you feel the difference? I have to pull the bone back into place so both arms feel the same. If I don't, your brother won't be able to use his hand when that bone heals."

I felt ashamed. "I'm sorry, Doc. I try to remember my manners but I forget too many times. When I think someone's hurtin' Paco, them manners are too damn easy to forget."

Doc Brent laughed and Daddy hugged me. He didn't even scold me for cussin'.

Doc let me feel again when he had them bones back where they belonged and them two arms did feel the same. He wrapped some cloth around Paco's arm and was tellin' me and Daddy that you had to do it just the right tight. I reckon it was some like wrappin' a horse's ankle. He said if you got it too tight, it would cut off Paco's circulation and that kind of scared me. I never even knew that Paco had a circulation but I didn't want nothin' cut off him without Paco knowin' it. Anyway, that word sounded like what Mr. Feldman said them Jews do to them boys. I couldn't think how doin' that would help no broke arm.

Doc went on tellin': "If it's too loose it won't hold the bones in place so you have to make it tight enough do some good but loose enough to allow for the swelling. But I'm sold on these new plaster casts. When we take it off in six weeks, that arm will be as good as new.

Doc asked for more water and went to mixin' up some white mud. He made it real thick and then he started smearin' that goddam stuff all over Paco's arm. I couldn't think why no doctor would smear mud all over a boy who was hurt with a broke arm but I didn't say nothin'. I had said too much already but I felt like takin' a handful of that mud and smearin' it on the doc. I tried to tell myself that he knew what he was doin' but it didn't make no sense to me. I reckon when I seen Daddy not bein' fussed about it, I felt some better but I was wishin' this whole goddam day didn't happen. Even did we do real good with them horses and feel real proud for it, it wasn't worth my brother gettin' a broke arm and me havin' to wonder what the hell this damn doctor was doin'.

When Doc was done with the mud, he wrapped more cloth around that mud and said to Daddy, "He'll sleep all night but you will need to watch him so he doesn't move too much. If he wiggles around too much before that plaster gets hard, it will be too sloppy in there and not do him much good." Then Doc looked at me. "Do you think you understand what I did here, son? That plaster is called a cast and it will get real hard and hold your brother's bones just where I put them. It will take about six weeks before those bones heal but your brother's going to be fine."

When he said that I cried some and I did like Daddy does. I bent over and kissed Paco on the forehead. Daddy hugged me and Doc rubbed back and forth on my head like he was pettin' me. If you're around folks enough, you'll find out that's what they do sometimes when they like you.

I had a lot of trouble gettin' to sleep that night. I wasn't thinkin' so much about them drunks. I was thinkin' about Paco. Daddy kept Paco downstairs on that couch where Doc fixed his arm, so I was sleepin' alone for the first time since I found Paco at Vox's. I knew where Paco was and I knew he was bein' good took care of. Daddy put a chair right beside that couch and he was gonna sit there all night. But I couldn't feel Paco and I couldn't hear him breathe. Funny how you don't even know those noises are there when you got them but when they're gone, their being gone sounds awful loud.

When I should have been sleepin', I was thinkin'. I'd think, "What if he gets a bad dream and needs me to hold him?" I'd think, "What if I get a bad dream and need him to hold me?" I'd think, "What if Doc ain't right and Paco's arm ain't gonna be fine?" I got to thinkin' on how it was before I got Paco and I don't like what I remember. I was thinkin' on how I get mad at Paco sometimes and how we fuss at each other and I felt so bad I almost started to cry again. I wanted to go to sleep and I didn't want to think no more but them things just kept comin' into my head and makin' me think.

I don't know when it happened but I must have gone to sleep. I reckon I had to because I woke up and you can't do that unless you been sleepin'. I know I was sleepin' but I sure didn't feel like it. I felt like I was workin' my ass off all night.

As soon as I was awake good, Paco come to me. I jumped out of bed and didn't even take no time to put on that bathrobe or pull on some britches. I run downstairs bare-ass naked. Paco was awake. He said his arm hurt some but he slept real good.

I said, "I wish that doctor had give me some of that bad tastin' stuff to drink. I reckon I was sleepin' but I don't feel like it. I feel like I been workin' my ass off all night. I reckon I need you in my bed to sleep good. I missed you and I was thinkin', 'What if he needs me?' so I didn't sleep good at all."

Paco said, "I slept real good. I didn't know nothin' about you or this broke arm but for some cause, I knew that Daddy was by me. Even when I was sleepin' real hard, it felt good knowin' that Daddy rode hard all day and sit by me all night." Then he took one of my expressions. "What do you say about a daddy like that?"

What do you say about a daddy like that? There ain't nothin' to say. He's too good they ain't got words for him.

Seein' Paco layin' there hurt made me think of how he was when we first got him. He wasn't skinny no more but he was hurt like he'd been too much of his life. Thinkin' that way almost got me to cryin' again. I didn't get to do it though. Paco said, "Hey, Sam. Don't worry none about your ass. It's still there. I can see it."

Instead of cryin' I had to laugh. Paco was Paco even when he was hurtin'. I went on upstairs and pulled on some britches.