The next morning Consuela Gómez's dress shop had a closed sign in the window and a For Sale sign tacked to the door. Consuela was with Daddy in that fancy rig, headin' for the rail head. She was sittin' there beside our daddy and our daddy told us that he finally felt that his life was complete. He had us and he had Paco's mama. He don't know either why cryin' is the only thing that takes care of them real heavy feelin's but he wasn't thinkin' about whys. He was just doin' it. So was Consuela. They wasn't boo hooin' but there was enough water in their eyes that it was damn lucky that that horse knew enough to stay on the road or, lord knows where they might have ended up.
Daddy's gray was tied on behind and there was one carpet bag behind the seat. Consuela didn't want to take the time to pack all her things. She wanted to get to the Bent-Y and Paco. Her friends said they would take care of sendin' the rest of her things.
They were just some east of Santa Fe, goin' through them low hills that was full of arroyos and box canyons. That's hard kind of country for cow men. My daddy told me and Paco that there ain't no cowboyin' work that's more aggravatin' than havin' to look through them arroyos and box canyons for mavericks. Some of them ornery ones want to go wild again and they like to hide in them places. When them cowboys are roundin-up, they got to look in all them places and when they think they got them all, they got to go back and look again. Dumb as them doggies seem to be, they seem to know when you looked in one of them places and that's where they go to hide. Daddy says it gets to be a matter of pride. Some of them wild ones are probably too tough and skinny to be worth much but Daddy says it takes away your sleepin' when you know that one of them critters had out thought you. I reckon they ain't smart enough to know them cowboys are comin' back, 'cause most of them get found soon or late.
I reckon if cows can hide in there, so can other things. Just as they was passin' the mouth of one of them arroyos, Connie let go with one of them real loud through-your-teeth whistles. Daddy said it give him such a start that he near 'bout jumped clean out of that fancy rig.
"Lord, woman. You like to scared me to death. Why did you do that?"
"Just wait a minute and you'll see." Connie was watching the mouth of that arroyo.
She whistled again and pretty soon they heard a loud scream and the hoof-beats of a gallopin' horse. Before Daddy knew what was happenin', the prettiest black stallion he ever saw come gallopin' out of the arroyo, comin' right toward them. It wasn't no mustang. It was smaller than a mustang but it was bigger than an Indian pony. Our daddy knows his horses good and he knew right off that it was an Arabian.
When he seen Daddy and the gray, that black reared and pawed the air. Connie said real gentle, "Es bueno, Viento. Venga a Mama." The horse calmly walked up to Connie and nuzzled her.
"He was my only friend for almost eight years but I knew I couldn't keep him in town. I think most people were like you, Shay. They didn't believe the stories of La Nube Negra but I couldn't take the chance. I couldn't keep him but I couldn't sell him either. I tried to set him free but he wouldn't go. He wanted to stay by me. I thought for a while I would have to leave Santa Fe. I didn't want to answer the questions Viento would have raised. I was tired of lying. Finally, I got him to stay in this arroyo, but only in the daytime. Every night he comes and paws on my door. He knew that he was all I had. He thought he was taking care of me. He never came in the daytime. He seemed to know that day was dangerous, just as it was when we rode as La Nube.
"Isn't he beautiful?" She spoke softly and lovingly to the horse in Spanish. "I think the Bent-Y is far enough away from southern Arizona and New Mexico that no one will suspect anything, don't you? Shay, I want to take him to the Bent-Y."
Our daddy just looked at him. "Of course you can take him. He's beautiful. Where did you get him? Is he pure Arabian?"
"He was given to me by a bandit in northern Mexico. He was an old man and he found me in the desert practicing my shooting. We became friends. He is the only person to whom I told my plan. He taught me many things and sometimes when I was very tired or when I was about to be caught, I would go to his camp in the mountains.
"I don't know where old Simon got him. I did not ask. Viento was probably stolen in Mexico City. That's the only place where such a fine horse could be found."
Daddy went to his gray and untied his lasso from the side of the saddle and began to swing a loop.
"No, Shay. He will follow. He will not allow himself to be led and he will probably fight with your gray if they are tied too close together. As long as he can see me or smell me, he will follow."
Daddy looked at her like he didn't know what to expect next. "Do you have any more surprises?"
"No," Connie said like she didn't see why Viento should be a surprise. Daddy said she acted like every pretty Mexican lady had a jet black Arabian stallion hiding in some arroyo.
They rode quiet for a while. Daddy told us he was tryin' to let all his good fortune sink in. He was feelin' like he was king of the world, he said, when it come to him that he had more he had to tell Connie.
"Could be you don't have any more surprises for me but I reckon I have one for you. Connie, I tried to tell you last night that there were some things I hadn't told you. I told you one of those things last night and it didn't seem right to tell you more. You were too full of knowing you had found Paco. But there is more. I found Paco because he had become a friend of my son."
Daddy looked at her. She made no reaction.
"Connie, I'm trying to tell you that there are two boys, both about the same age and both have had some very difficult times in the past. You have been living by yourself. You have gone where you wanted and done what you pleased. It will be an adjustment for you to go from living by yourself to being the mother of two rowdy boys whose language, I'm sorry to say, too often reflects their very unpleasant past. Connie, they are fine boys. I love them as much as I love you. I can't think of life without any of you.
"I have told you that I had come to believe that I would never find a woman whom I could love and who would love me - not the fact that I was rich or that I was Seamus Flynn - but just love me for me. I had given up hope of finding a wife. Those boys became my family. I need them to love me and they have become very dependent on me. Do you understand what I'm saying?
"Paco's not three years old any more. He's a fine intelligent, loving boy but he's lived a very rough life. He's not the same sweet little baby you remember.
"And Sam - well Sam has been making his own decisions since he has been old enough to leave the cabin by himself. He's a good boy and he does the right thing most of the time but he's my son. He has my hot head. He resents being told what to do. As much as he loves me, he's had to try me. I reckon he's having to prove to himself over and over that I love him and that I won't leave him. I'm sure he knows in his head that I love him but in his heart he just isn't sure. He's had too many disappointments. It's hard, but I have to become very firm with him occasionally because, as intelligent as he is, he doesn't completely understand the cooperation necessary when living with other people.
"Paco has a different personality. He's had some very hard times too but, as you know, I reckon he was born happy and giggling. He generally sees the bright side of things and finds it easier to accept authority. He worries sometime about what will happen when his parents are found. Sam's and mine has been the only love he's known other than faint memories of yours. He worries about having to leave us."
Daddy teared up some. "I can't believe that it has worked out so that he can have both of us."
"Gracias a Dios, Shay. I thought I loved you but knowing how you have loved Pacito and how he loves you, my heart is too full for words."
She put her head on Daddy's shoulder and cried again. Daddy put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. He kissed her forehead and held her there until her cryin' was over.
"Have you heard me, Connie? There are two of them. I have become their safety, their security. They may even resent your intrusion into my life. It may not be easy. Are you understanding that, Connie?"
Connie rode quiet for a while. Finally she said, "You are right, Shay, I have lived alone for eight years but I was never without responsibility. Paco was not with me but he controlled my life. His safety, his needs, his smile and laughter, his fears, his tears and sobs, even though I couldn't see or hear them, they determined everything I did. I have been alone and yet I have had that child always with me. I know responsibility, Shay. I am a mother."
Her face lit up. Her expression became one of pure joy and exuberance. She kissed Daddy on the mouth and squeezed him real tight. "Thank you, Blessed Mother. I have had only a dream child. The son of my memory and my heart. I now have real flesh and blood people to love. I have a man who I love and who loves me and now I find that I have one child who is part of me and one child who is part of him. What more could any woman ask?"
Daddy just shook his head. He knew right there that Consuela Gómez wasn't gonna have any trouble fittin' in.
Daddy told her some about when me and Paco was littler and how he come to have us, but he didn't tell her all of it. She didn't need to know all the bad things that happened to me and especially to Paco. If Paco wanted her to know, he could tell her later.
Daddy said that he would have me go to Uncle Kevin's while Paco and his mama saw each other for the first time. He thought they would want their own time. Connie said that he would do no such thing. She had two sons and she would meet them both at the same time. Paco had been in her heart all them years but now that she knew that she had two sons, I was just as much in her heart.
Daddy cried some. So did Connie. They hugged and kissed some more.
Daddy told Connie that he was some worried that if he told Paco that Connie was his mother before he told us they were going to get married, Paco would think he would have to go away from Daddy. Daddy told her how Paco done when we first got to the Bent-Y and Daddy talked about goin' to College. You remember, don't you, how Paco thought we was gonna have to go right then? Daddy was worried that Paco might get all scared and that was one thing our daddy couldn't abide. Daddy got so it didn't bother him none if we was all mad about somethin'. In fact, he got so he'd fun on us if we didn't throw too big a fit and he'd send us to our room if we did. But if he thought we was frettin' from bein' sad or scared over somethin', he couldn't take that. Our daddy didn't want Paco bein' upset, spoilin' the happiest day of his life.
Daddy told Connie he reckoned he'd tell us that he was gonna get married and that we was both gonna have a mama and then let Paco find out that she was his mama all the time anyway. What did Connie think?
Connie thought that was the way to do it.
You know they got them cars on them trains that's almost like a tiny hotel room? I ain't seen none yet but from what Daddy says, they got beds and you can lay down and sleep right on them trains. That's what Daddy and Connie did. It was mornin' when they got to Amarillo. They had slept in different cars and they met in the dinin' car for breakfast and by the time they was done eatin', there they was in Amarillo.
They stayed the day in Amarillo. Daddy did some business and Connie spent the day with Grandma Walton and Cil. You know how Grandma Walton is. By the time Connie was there a hour, she felt like she knew Grandma all her life. Connie was really likin' Grandma and Cil.
She stayed the night at Grandma's. Daddy stayed in the Flynn room at the hotel. They took the noon train to Claude after Daddy had gone over the stockyard books with Ruf Taylor. Connie was some put out at Daddy. She was anxious to get to the Bent-Y and see Paco and me. Grandma Walton was fussin' at Daddy too about keepin' that poor woman waitin'. But it would have been about a day each way and Daddy didn't want to be away from Connie that long just after he got her. Connie seen too that would have been foolish for Daddy to take her to the Bent- Y and then have to turn around and come right back to Amarillo. Anyway, she knew where Paco was and that he was safe and she reckoned that if Daddy had to leave right away, she'd miss him almost as much as she'd been missin' Paco.
It was night by the time they got to the Bent-Y. Me and Paco was already sleepin'. Daddy brought her in and she looked at us while we was sleepin' and he asked did she want him to wake us up. She cried some and she kissed Paco real gentle so as not to wake him up. She said that she wanted us both full awake when we seen her. She said she could wait. Seein' us was enough and she could feel Paco was near and she knew he was safe.
I woke up early and was all excited. I come full awake right off. It was Daddy's gray screamin' in the corral that woke me and I knew that scream and I knew Daddy was home even before I looked out the window. I knew the gray would be there but I was surprised to see a black and a bay I never seen before. The gray and the black were tied in different corners of the corral and I knew right off why. They were both stallions and if they could get at each other, they'd fight. I couldn't tell from the house if the bay was a mare or a gelding but I didn't worry much on it. My daddy was downstairs and it was about a week since we seen him. I didn't even bother to pull on no britches or put on my bathrobe. If I'd a thought, I would have known that Daddy would get all fussed. He don't want us runnin' around naked no more, even if it's only us and them Chinamen.
But I wasn't thinkin' about no britches or bathrobe. I was thinkin' about seein' my daddy. I knew he'd hug me good before he asked me what I was doin' runnin' around like a cracker sod-buster and send me back upstairs to put somethin' on my ass.
Seems to me and Paco he's gettin' awful funny about things like that. Paco's got so he don't never forget and run to the shit house naked no more and I never was one for wantin' to show my ass to the general public, but lord, what difference does it make in your own house? I like fancy livin' real good and I do most of it real good, but I can't see no sense in that part of it. Them Aunts and Daddy keep sayin' God made us and they're always talkin' on how God don't do nothin' wrong. If that's right, there ain't nothin' wrong with how you're made and what you got on you. I can't think why Daddy keeps actin' like there is.
He even tried to get us to sleep in them nightgowns. We hate them damn things. Can't see no sense in them. Lord, you got covers over you and can't nobody see nothin' and there ain't nobody comes to our bedrooms in the night anyway. 'Course when you're sleepin' in Aunt Lydia's house, you got to wear them nightgowns. Me and Paco hate it but not so much that we don't sleep there. Danny hates wearin' them too even though he ain't never slept no other way. He says it seems to him like a waste of cloth somebody could be usin' for puttin' clothes on them naked savages they're always frettin' about in his mama's church.
Anyway, they're too hot and when you roll around in your sleep, you get all twisty and you feel like somebody's got you all hog-tied. I reckon Daddy didn't care that much. He didn't fuss at us when we stopped wearin' them. Aunt Lydia fusses at him for not makin' us wear them. She tells him, "Those are too fine a' boys to let to grow up like they were just cracker riff raff."
Daddy tells her that if sleepin' naked makes riff raff, he reckons that about all the range livin' folks in Texas are riff raff. Them Flynn daddies are all the time funnin' on them mamas on how they want to make fancy-assed darlin's out of us Flynn younguns. Aunt Lydia just rolls her eyes up like she's thinkin', "Lord, what am I gonna do? The way these Flynns let these younguns do, what they gonna turn out to be?"
Aunt Lydia told Daddy she reckoned that back in Ohio they'd throw you in jail if you wasn't no more modest than them Flynn daddies made us younguns be. Daddy said that didn't surprise him none. He reckoned that since she left, there wasn't no smart folks left in Ohio. If there was, they'd be throwin' them damn sod busters in jail instead of lettin' them come to Texas and mess up our range.
Daddy does that funnin' on Aunt Lydia but he still fusses at us if we're someplace naked in that house where we ain't 'sposed to be.
I figured I'd find my daddy in the kitchen eatin' his breakfast so I run on in there. Late as it was, he usually would have already been somewhere on the range. But I seen that his gray hadn't even been brushed or saddled yet so I figured he must have got home real late and was still eatin'. I ain't never seen my daddy still sleepin' when I woke up in the mornin'. I knew he wouldn't be in bed.
But he wasn't in the kitchen. Ho Chow was just settin' breakfast and I seen that he was settin' for four. Before I could ask who was comin' for breakfast, Ho Chow was tellin' me that I knew my daddy didn't want me downstairs bare-assed naked. I should get on upstairs and get on some britches.
Well, when my daddy was home, Ho Chow wasn't no boss to me. I went lookin' for my daddy. I was about to run up to his room when I heard him call from the parlor. He didn't even give me a howdy or a fare-thee-well. He just said, "Sam, you get on up there and get on some britches. You know better than that."
I started to go in there and hug him. Hell, I didn't see him for a week. I knew he'd at least let me do that.
He didn't. He'd been sleepin' on the divan in the parlor, somethin' he never done before. He wasn't Irish but the way he said it, I knew there wasn't gonna be no huggin' until I done what he said. "You go on now, do like I said. You get on some britches. Get Paco up and see that he has on britches too. I got a big surprise for you. Hurry on now. And, Sam, you know I don't like you runnin' around here like a cracker sod-buster."
Well, I knew he'd say it but I thought he'd at least let me hug him before he done it. I was some mad. I didn't even get to hug my daddy from bein' gone for a week. That wasn't like him but then, since whatever's been goin' on in Santa Fe, hardly nothin's like him no more anyway.
I went into our room and Paco was already up, standin' by the window, lookin' at Daddy's gray. "Daddy's home!" he said and started runnin' for the stairs.
"If you don't put somethin' on your ass, you'll be right back up here doin' it just like I am. Daddy wouldn't even let me hug him from him bein' gone. He said he's got a surprise for us but we got to have britches on before we can go down. So cover your ass you damn greaser and don't be keepin' me from seein' that surprise."
Mostly when I called him that, he knew I was funnin'. I reckon I was now but I shouldn't have said it. I was some mad and Paco knew it. "I told you before, if you're goin' to call me that, you better be smilin' and I don't see no damn smile on you now. Ain't my fault you're a dumb cracker and don't know no better than to show your ass to somethin' besides that hole in the privy. Don't be namin' on me when you're out of fix or by the time I'm done kickin' it, your ass will be too sore even for puttin' in one of them holes."
That kind of fussin' didn't really mean nothin'. I already told you that our daddies don't like that kind of name callin' but to us it don't mean nothin'. Anyway, me and Paco done a lot of fussin' when we first got up in the mornin'. A body's just out of fix from havin' to wake up, I reckon. By the time we got our britches on and got downstairs we wasn't thinkin' about it no more.
Daddy was standin' in the parlor and told us to come on in. He'd been sleepin' in his britches but now he had on his bathrobe and slippers. Our daddy don't like havin' folks that ain't our family or our Chinamen in the house when he's barefooted so I reckoned the surprise was somebody instead of some thing. Daddy said, "Sit down, boys."
Paco and me looked at each other. This must be some hell of a surprise. We don't even get to go in that parlor and now we were bein' told to sit down in it. We couldn't tell from lookin' at Daddy if this was a good surprise or a bad one. Not knowin' about Paco's folks, there was always the chance that one of them surprises could be a bad one.
Daddy said, "Boys, things are going to change for us. I found a lady I love very much and I am going to marry her. You boys are going to have a mama."
Right off I was some scared but Paco was some mad. "How come we're gettin' a mama and we don't have no say in do we like her or not?"
"Paco, this isn't like hiring a cook or a housekeeper. When a man decides to get married, he has to decide if he, only he, loves the lady and if the lady loves him. You know I could only love a lady who would love you but this is a part of my life I had to decide for myself. I couldn't let you help me. I had to know how I felt and she had to know how she felt. You couldn't tell us that. You boys have made me very happy, you know that. But a man is never really happy without a wife.
"Do you remember the story Aunt Lydia told you about Adam and Eve?"
We remembered.
"Well, some folks take that story to mean that a woman has got to be part of a man and if he doesn't have a wife, he's not a whole man. I'm one who thinks like that. I need a wife and you need a mama."
Paco was still some mad but I was gettin' more and more scared. "Daddy, does she drink whiskey?"
He hugged me. "Sam, you and Paco told me once that those times were not part of you any more. They're not. All mamas are not like your mama was. You know a lot of mamas who you could love. Look at Aunt Lydia or Aunt Jenny or Juan's mama or Virgil's mama."
He was right but I was still gonna give this mama a lot of room until I knew if she was gonna be drinkin' whiskey or beatin' on me.
"I think it's time you met Conseula Gómez."
She came into the room. She was dressed like you seen most Mexican folks dressed when they was workin' around their house or in town. Consuela Gómez was sure pretty and you knew it was her that was pretty and not just some fancy dress takin' your attention, makin' you think you seen a pretty woman when all you was really seein' was a fancy dress. In fact, it come to me that she was makin' that plain dress look pretty.
I looked hard at her. It seemed like I knew her from somewhere. I didn't know too many Mexican ladies so at first I thought she was that lady that bathed us in Amarillo when our daddy first started bein' our daddy. Hell, I knew right off that was dumb. That senora was fat and older than this lady. But I couldn't get over the feelin' that I knew her from somewhere.
She smiled at me. By now, I been smiled at by lots of ladies and I liked it real good but mostly it didn't mean nothin' to me. But this lady's smile wanted to make me cry. I saw by that smile that she loved me. I knew that right off. I don't know why. You know that I'm mostly real slow at gettin' close to folks but with Consuela Gómez, I couldn't help it. I saw that she loved me and I reckon I loved her right back. I didn't think nothin' about whiskey or beatin'. I was just feelin' her love and lettin' that smile tell me, "You're all right Sam. You're all right." When I wasn't thinkin' that, I was tryin' to think where I knew her from.
It come to me that Daddy and Consuela Gómez were lookin' at Paco. That lady who was gonna be our mama was real happy. It was one of them real big happies that make you get tears in your eyes. But when I looked at Paco, I seen that he wasn't nothin'. He looked like he was in another world. He was thinkin' but his thinkin' was all fuzzy and you seen that he needed to cry but that he didn't know why. It was somethin' about that lady. It looked like he was like me. Seemed like he knew her from somewhere.
He tried to look at her but water came to his eyes and he couldn't see her good. He couldn't see her and she didn't say anything but something drew him to her. Way back in his mind he saw someone holdin' out her arms, meanin' - come to me. He still couldn't see her for the water in his eyes but he walked over to her and she hugged him. He just stood there, tryin' to remember. He didn't even hug back.
Consuela Gómez was holdin' him real tight. She was cryin' harder and kissin' him all over his face. Paco still was just standin' there. Water was comin' from his eyes and you could tell he was almost hurtin' from tryin' so hard to remember. I reckon Consuela Gómez saw that too. She kissed him one more time on the forehead and said, "Vamos a contar, La Paloma, Pacito."
I don't know why but when she said that, things come to me. I didn't know her from nowhere. I thought I knew her because I knew Paco. Paco looked like Consuela Gómez, like I looked like my daddy. Consuela Gómez was Paco's mama.
Paco blinked his eyes to try to get the water out. But it wasn't what his eyes saw that made him hug Consuela Gómez real hard and put his face on her chest and sob and sob. It was that lady way back in his mind. When Consuela Gómez said the name of that song that Paco loved to have his mama and abuela sing to him when he was real little, that lady came out of the fuzzies in his mind and she was Consuela Gómez. Consuela Gómez was his mama and she was gonna be his daddy's wife. He was gonna have the mama he thought he remembered all them years and he was gonna have the daddy who he loved. He was gonna have everything. Paco and his mama just stood there huggin' and cryin'.