When Daddy got to Santa Fe he didn't have any trouble finding Consuela Gómez's shop. He didn't have no trouble findin' it but he had all kinds of trouble makin' himself go in. Our daddy, Seamus Flynn, was scared to go in there. If she was Paco's mama, he was thinkin' he was gonna lose Paco. If she wasn't Paco's mama, things wasn't gonna be much better. He still wouldn't know nothin' definite. He was thinkin', either way it was gonna be bad news.
Daddy walked back and forth in front of her shop for about half a hour tryin' to think out what to do. It even come to him that he could just ride off and pretend that he didn't know nothin' about Consuela Gómez. He could just keep bein' Paco's guardian. He didn't think like that long. He had to know and he wasn't one for lyin' anyway. He knew that he was gonna have to go in there soon or late so he took a deep breath, pulled himself up real tall and walked in.
His heart about fell out of him. If you were lookin' at Consuela Gómez, you were lookin' at Paco. He had found Paco's mama. He knew damn sure he had found her when she asked, "Is your name Joshua? I was beginning to think you were going to walk in front of my shop until my walls came tumblin' down."
That face, that ornery grin, that sense of humor - a blind man could see that Consuela Gómez was Paco's mama.
Daddy's heart was pounding. Was he about to lose one of his sons? Could he live with those lost, angry feelings again? His feelings were all mixed up. He thought he was going to cry. He felt like he wanted to fight someone. He was sad and angry and scared but he was also confused. Along with the sadness, anger and fear was a feeling that was vaguely familiar but not quite clear to him.
"My name is Seamus Flynn, ma'am."
"Oh, Mr. Flynn. So you're not Joshua. Were you walking up and down past my shop deciding whether or not you were going to shoot me?"
Daddy said he had to laugh. She had Paco's smile and she had that same mischievous look in her eyes when she was gettin' ready to fun on folks. She had a dimple in the middle of her chin right where Paco had one and her eyes were bright and her hair and skin shown. She was beautiful.
It was startin' to come to Daddy what that feelin' was. It come to him that maybe he found something more than Paco's mama. That vaguely familiar feel was coming clearer. It made him, just for a moment, think of the young, beautiful Amelia Martin. It made him remember what it felt like to be in love.
It wasn't just the way she looked. Daddy knew a lot of pretty women and a whole lot of them would love to marry up with him, him bein' rich and bein' a State senator and a army Colonel and him bein' Seamus Flynn and all. Our daddy was used to pretty women. There were so many of them after him all the time when he was in those cities that he hated goin' to them. The only place he didn't feel that he didn't have to be on his guard was at home. He'd get real Irish when them pretty women threw themselves at him. Pretty wasn't nothin' to him.
But Consuela Gómez was more than pretty. From the way she looked and the way she carried herself, Daddy could tell she was a strong woman who knew her own mind. Even though Daddy didn't know her good, he saw that she wasn't the kind of woman who had to let on like she was better than a man in order to feel like somebody. She wasn't the kind that let on like she was weak and helpless, always wantin' to be bossed and demandin' a man's attention like a spoiled child so she'd know he liked her. Daddy saw that she was the kind of woman who didn't think she was better than a man or worse than a man. She was the kind that knew who she was and that was just as good as any man alive. Daddy liked that and that vague feelin' come real clear.
"I think I could love this woman. Can it be possible that I found Paco's mama and a woman I would want to be my wife and they are the same person?"
My daddy ain't one for jumpin' into things. He's mostly one for thinkin' things out but like he said in that hotel room in Amarillo the night he told me he was my daddy, some things can't be thought out. Some things don't come to you through your head. Some things come to you through your heart.
It wasn't Daddy's head that was tellin' him them things about Consuela Gómez. His heart was tellin' him, "You love that lady. Tell her about Paco and get her back to the Bent-Y and marry her." His heart was tellin' him, "You finally found you a wife."
But his head done some talkin' too. His head made him decide not to tell her about Paco, or me and Paco about her right then. His head was tellin' him, "You can't both be thinkin' you love each other just because you both love Paco. You got to give it time, Shay. You got to find out if you really love her and if she loves you. Paco's safe and Consuela Gómez looks like she's learned to live with the hurt of not knowin' about him. A little while longer won't hurt nothin' especially if it turns out that all of you, Paco and Sam, you and Paco's mama can have long years of happiness together."
I already told you that our daddy ain't one for lyin' but what he did next was almost a lie. I reckon it was more a trick than a lie but I ain't sure. I ain't quite learned the difference between what my daddy calls diplomacy and lyin'. Like, I know you're not supposed to tell folks right out that they're fat or what they done was dumb and things like that. You're supposed to let on like you didn't notice or let on like you don't think they're fat or dumb when you really think they are. Daddy said diplomacy ain't lyin'. It's manners. I reckon, like most times, my daddy's right, but it sure seems like lyin' to me.
Anyhow, Daddy funned on Consuela Gómez. He said, "I wonder if I could speak to Mr. Gómez. My brothers and I are thinking of buying up these buildings, tearing them down and building a hotel. I assume Mr. Gómez owns this property."
"Mr. Gómez is dead and I own this property. It's in a very good location and it's not for sale."
Daddy liked her spunk.
Daddy said, "Oh, I'm sorry about Mr. Gómez. Has his death been recent?"
"He was killed in a bandit raid on a little border village called San Miguel in Arizona Territory eight years ago."
It was Paco's mama all right. No doubt about that.
"Mrs. Gómez, there is always a way to work these things out. Might we discuss this over dinner this evening? May I call for you about six?"
She got that twinkle in her eye again and said, "Why, Mr. Flynn. I'm disappointed. I thought the famous Seamus Flynn would hold a gun on me and force me to have dinner with him."
"Well," Daddy said, "If that's the only way I can get you to go, I may just do that."
They had dinner that evenin' and Daddy kept pretendin' about the hotel. She said that she didn't want to sell because it was the perfect place for her. Most women didn't like to go to the main part of Santa Fe because it was still a frontier town and it was full of saloons and them roughish kinds and just wasn't a fit place for a lady. Anyway, she lived in the back of that dress shop and it was handy and nice and quiet and she was just startin' to get some close-by friends.
Daddy asked how long she's been in Santa Fe. She said she'd been there just a little more than three months. Before that, she'd traveled around some tryin' to find a place where she could live and not have to remember what happened to her husband and her mama. She didn't say nothin' about Paco but she got quiet for a spell and looked at the floor. When she looked back up at Daddy, she had a tear in her eye.
Consuela Gómez said that she had almost run out of money and she had to find a way to support herself. Her mama had taught her how to sew when she was a girl and she liked it and folks told her she was good at it. She knew Santa Fe was growin' and gettin' more settled down. It seemed a good place to start over again. She had just enough money left to buy this little shop and business was good and she was stayin'.
Our daddy kept funnin' about that hotel. He said he'd make a shop right in the hotel and she could live right there and it wouldn't cost her much rent. Daddy said it would probably improve her business. She'd get all the same work from them fancy ladies she had been gettin', plus she'd probably get some mendin' work from them fancy ladies who was travelin' and stayin' in that hotel. Daddy told me and Paco later that he almost had himself believin' he was gonna build a hotel.
Consuela Gómez said to our daddy, "I see that you have more weapons than just your gun for getting your way, Mr. Flynn. Your arguments are very persuasive. You're quite different from your reputation. I find you very charming but my answer is still 'no.' What would I do after my shop was torn down and before you had your hotel built?"
Daddy said, "Perhaps we can both think about that and I can call on you again to discuss our ideas. May I call on you again, Mrs. Gómez?"
"You may, but only if you find my company as pleasant as I find yours. I would not otherwise wish to waste your time. I am a very determined woman, Mr. Flynn, and I do not intend to change my mind."
Daddy said the eatin' was over and it come to him that he better be gettin' on out of there. The longer he spent with her, the more he wanted to tell her everything: about Paco and about me and tell her he loved her. He wanted to tell her all those things and bring her on back to the Bent-Y. He said he could never remember a time before when his head and his heart was fussin' so much with each other. He said when his head and heart was fussin' over what to do about me, he could at least be Irish. But with Consuela Gómez, he couldn't be nothin' but all mixed up. He said that his head and his heart were fussin' so much that evenin', it got where he wasn't sure what he was sayin'. He took her on home, got on his gray, and rode like hell for the Bent-Y. He didn't wait until mornin'. He said he couldn't trust himself in the same town with her. It seemed to him that his heart was winnin' the argument.
It was when he got home after first seein' Consuela Gómez that me and Paco seen he was over his sad and startin' on his embarrass.
When Daddy went back to Santa Fe about a week later, he bought a fine carriage horse and a fancy rig. He had the livery man take care of it when he wasn't in Santa Fe but he told that livery man that Mrs. Consuela Gómez could use the rig any time she wanted. When he drove up to the dress shop that evenin', he had a picnic basket that the hotel cook had made up for him and they drove on west, toward them mountains, lookin' for a pretty picnic spot. Daddy said that when he was thinkin' about her at home, he got to lovin' her more and more and he had to talk about that hotel or he would have said the wrong thing.
Consuela Gómez listened for a while but she seen that Daddy wasn't makin' much sense so she said, "Mr. Flynn, I'm becoming weary of all this talk about hotels and it's obvious that you are too. I don't think you have any intention of building a hotel in Santa Fe. I'm not a woman to act demure. I have had to learn to think for myself and to say what I think and I think you are courting me. Is that true, Mr. Flynn?"
Well, when Daddy had his head, he was one to say what he thought too. When Consuela Gómez come right out like that, his head come back to him and he got to be more himself. He said, "Yes I am, Mrs. Gómez, and I think Mr. Flynn and Mrs. Gómez is much too formal for a courting couple. I'm going to call you Connie, and I'd be pleased if you called me Shay."
Well, that made things a whole lot easier. They didn't have to pretend no more. They found it easy to talk about almost anything. Since everybody knew all kinds of things about Seamus Flynn, there wasn't no use in Daddy makin' out like he wasn't rich and he said that he didn't feel like he had to hide that from her anyway. She was an honest, open woman and Daddy knew already that she wouldn't be one for just tryin' to get his money. He told her about the Bent-Y. He told her how pretty it was and she seen right off how much he loved that place. He told her about the Flynns' other businesses in Texas and he told her about Uncle Sean in California. Daddy said he wasn't thinkin' what he was doin'. All that stuff about the Flynns just come out. Daddy said he didn't let himself know he was thinkin' it, but it come to him that he was seein' her as already bein' part of him and that keepin' stuff from her would have been wrong.
Daddy said he kind of knew that he was talkin' too much but that smile and them eyes just kept pullin' stuff out of him. Later on, he said, it come to him that she might think he was braggin' but when he thought on it, it didn't worry him none. He knew she understood. She wasn't one to think bad on folks. Daddy knew that. He seen it in her eyes and in her smile. He said that before he was done talkin', he had told her all about himself: the things he liked, the things he didn't like, his hopes, his dreams, everything but about Paco and me. Daddy said he never done that before with nobody, not even my mama when she was young and pretty and Daddy loved her so much.
Consuela Gómez told Daddy all about when she was a girl. She told about the happy times: the growing and the learning and the loving and the fun. But she also had to tell about the Indian raids and that Bandit raid that changed her life. She told Daddy that she wanted to die from her sad but that she knew God must have wanted her to live so she prayed that He would make her strong. She told him what she liked and what she didn't like. She told him her hopes and her dreams and Daddy seen that she was like him. She needed somebody to share her thoughts and her dreams and it made Daddy proud that it was him she was sharin' them with.
It was near dark when it come to them that they'd best be gettin' on back to Santa Fe. It can get cold in the desert after the sun goes down and Connie had to sit real close to our daddy to keep warm. Our daddy said that it felt like that's where she belonged. He said that he was thinkin' that he would just keep on drivin' all night just to keep her sittin' there close to him.
When they got back to her shop, he looked into them big brown eyes and they were tellin' him what he wanted to know. She was likin' him too. Her eyes told him that. Daddy said that he felt like runnin' and jumpin' and actin' silly like me and Paco do when we're excited.
The next mornin', while he was ridin' on back toward the rail head, Daddy couldn't get his mind off them eyes. He thought about how easy it was to talk to her and how he felt like she was part of him already. But her eyes made him feel warm and guilty at the same time. Behind the mischief and the fun and the sparkle and the tellin' in her eyes, there was a sadness. Those eyes told him that she had the same feelin's for him as he had for her and that give him the warm. But Daddy knew the sadness was from Paco and that's where his guilty came from. It was like with me and Paco. He wanted to take all the hurt and sadness from her and he knew he could do it. All he had to do was tell her about Paco but he knew it was too soon. He had to know if she could love him for him, not just for Paco. It hurt him in his chest, but he kept on ridin' east.
Sometimes on his trips to Santa Fe, Daddy and Connie went to the Caf‚ Valdez and spent the evenin' eatin' and talkin'. Sometimes they'd just stay at Connie's house and she'd fix that Mexican food that Daddy loved to eat. Sometimes they'd go on picnics or just go drivin' but it didn't make no difference what they did. Each time they were together, her eyes were tellin' him more and more. Daddy was thinkin' that it was about time he told her about Paco and me. He knew she would be thrilled about Paco but he also knew it would be hard to go from bein' alone to bein' the mama of two boys who were the same age.
Each time he went to Santa Fe he decided he was going to tell her but each time he came back home and ain't told her yet. He said he was some shy and some scared. What if he tells her and what he thinks he sees in her eyes ain't so? What would he do if she don't love him? He admitted to us, he wasn't thinkin' about losin' Paco. He still loved Paco but he was worryin' on losin' her. Our daddy was in love and that was why our uncles were teasin' on him and he was gettin' so red in the face.
Daddy had been goin' to Santa Fe all the time and not tellin' us nothin' for almost a year when he gave that fancy black suit to Ling Pau for cleanin' up and pressin'. He said the Governor of New Mexico Territory was havin' a big party. I reckon it was some like that ball in Austin but this time our daddy acted real anxious to go. Paco and me still couldn't get no sense from that. Our daddy was mostly one for lovin' bein' on a horse and ridin' hard and funnin' hard and gettin' all sweat and dirt. Him in a fancy dudes get-up, drinkin' whiskey and makin' nice with a bunch of fancy town ladies who probably didn't even know how to milk a cow - that didn't seem like our daddy. But, then, I already told you that hardly nothin' seemed like our daddy no more.
How our daddy found out about that party was, he got a letter that wasn't like no letter that me and Paco had ever seen before. It was on real stiff paper and the writin' was gold and when you run your fingers over it, you could feel that them letters was real bumpy. They were all raised up. Daddy said that it was a gold embossed invitation to the Governor's Ball in Santa Fe. It said that Daddy could come and bring a guest.
Paco and me liked to run our fingers over that card but your hands better be clean if you want to touch that card. Our daddy would get more than a little Irish if we got it dirty. We touched it some but mostly we just looked at it. It was something to see.
Right after that letter come, our daddy was back off to Santa Fe. He told Connie that she was gonna be his guest at that Ball. As strong as she was, she was some scared. She said that she didn't know how to act around them fancy ladies and anyhow, some of them made her nervous from just comin' into her shop to have a dress made. It ain't that she's scared of them but she was scared of what she might do or say. Some of them was so uppity that they needed a good tellin-off and Connie said it was all she could do to keep from givin' them what they need. She needed their business but she wasn't about to be looked down on by nobody. Anyway, she didn't have a fit dress for such a fine party and with all the extra work that party was bringin' her, she didn't have time to make herself one.
Our daddy told her to stop makin' excuses, she was goin' and he was gonna see that she got help makin' them dresses.
Connie said, "Seamus Flynn, you should know by now that you don't tell me right out what I'm going to do."
Daddy said he reckoned he was out of line but did she remember when she said that she was disappointed that he didn't hold a gun on her and make her go to supper with him? She remembered. Our daddy said that if she didn't say she'd go to that Ball with him, he was about to stop disappointin' her.
She laughed and asked Daddy where he was gonna get her help. Did our daddy sew as good as he talked and shot?
The next time our daddy come to Santa Fe he had Ling Pu, Ki Tuan, Ching Lu, Katy and Sarah Whitacher with him. He told Connie that these was all fine sewers. They might not be able to design dresses like Connie could, but Connie could do the designin' and them Bent-Y ladies could do the sewin'. He asked her, "Do you have any more excuses, Mrs. Consuela Gómez?
Connie reckoned she didn't and she started them Bent-Y ladies sewin' on a dress for her while they was sewin' on them dresses for them helpless, fancy town ladies.
The Bent-Y ladies liked bein' in Santa Fe and they liked makin' them fancy dresses. Women folks are funny. These was all ranch ladies. They was used to real dresses that was good for somethin' besides show. They could even harness a horse in one of their go-to-meetin' dresses and not get it too messed up if they had to. I can't think why they was so fussed over them fancy dresses that wasn't good for nothin' but lookin' at. Me and Paco had come to love all them Bent-Y ladies, but ladies do things sometimes that just don't make no sense.
From what Daddy said, they was sewin' and laughin' and singin' and they was all gettin' to like Connie real good but they didn't say nothin' to her about me and Paco. That was because our daddy said they better don't say nothin' to Connie about us and they better don't say nothin' to me and Paco about Connie. Katy said she thought her Uncle Shay was sweet on Consuela Gómez. Daddy told her that she could think all she wanted to, but if she talked her thinkin' around the Bent-Y, she wasn't too big for him to blister her bottom and she'd better not forget it.
Katy knew that our daddy was mostly funnin' but she seen enough Irish in him to give her somethin' to think about. She didn't say nothin'.
Our daddy tells a lot of stories about things he done in his life but the story me and Paco like best is the one about the night of that Ball. To hear Daddy tell it, that was some party. Important folks from all over the southwest were there. Grandpa and Grandma Walton were there and the Governor of Texas and, of course, the Governor of New Mexico Territory. There was a whole lot of pretty ladies there. The prettiest ones, Daddy says, was wearin' dresses made by Conseula Gómez and the Bent-Y ladies.
But the prettiest lady there was Consuela Gómez. Daddy says that wasn't just his thinkin'. He said he knew that because a whole lot of them other ladies was some jealous. There had been some talk around Santa Fe that our daddy was gettin' sweet on that Mexican woman but nobody knew how sweet until they showed up at that Ball together. A lot of them ladies who was thinkin' that pretty soon they was gonna figure out a way to get our daddy to marry up with them was really took back. They were jealous and a lot of folks can't be jealous and nice. Daddy said some real mean things was said. Connie heard some of them and Daddy says that when that night was over, he loved her more than ever and was just plain damn proud of her.
Mostly she didn't pay no mind to them nasty things what was bein' said but some of them ladies come right up to her and said them nasty things. One of them said, "Why would Colonel Flynn bring a common Mexican dressmaker to the Governor's Ball? Doesn't he know this is New Mexico, not old Mexico?"
Daddy says that Connie smiled real nice and said back, "Oh, my, yes, I'm sure he does but he also knows that New Mexico is a territory of the United States where all people are created equal, so he probably didn't even notice that I was a common Mexican dressmaker."
By now, me and Paco know that story by heart. The Territorial Governor of New Mexico saw what was goin' on so when it come time for the Grand March and the reception line, he had Daddy and Connie stand right beside him and his missis. All the folks that was leavin' had to go right on past them and them bad-mouthin', fancy ladies had to be nice to Paco's mama. I reckon that shut them up.
While drivin' Connie home that evenin', it come to Daddy that he couldn't wait no more. He had to know if Connie was really feelin' what he seen in her eyes. Daddy was still scared but he asked, "Connie, do you remember when you asked me if I was courting you?"
She remembered.
"Well, I reckon it's gone farther than just courting. I reckon I love you, Connie."
She looked at him and tears come to her eyes. "I reckon I love you too, Shay, but please don't ask me to marry you. There are some things about me that you don't know. I have another love which may get in the way of ours."
Daddy gasped.
"No, Shay, it's not another man. I could never love another man like I love you. I have wanted to tell you but the love I have is too painful even for me to talk about. I have not been fair with you, Shay. I know how much you love me. You couldn't hide it if you tried. It's in your eyes and your voice and everything you do when we're together. I have needed that love so I've been selfish. I took your love, all the time knowing that I could never give it completely back to you.
"Shay, when the bandits killed my husband and my mother, they took away my three-year-old son. After I lost my husband and my mother, he was my whole world. I lived only to find my Pacito. Some of the children taken were found and others were known to have died in the bandit camp but there was never word on Pacito. Eventually, all the children were accounted for except Pacito. As long as there was no definite word that he was dead, for me he was alive and he needed his mother.
"You asked me once what I did before I came to Santa Fe. Have you ever heard of La Nube Negra - The Black Cloud, Shay?"
Well, hell yes he had heard of La Nube Negra. I already told you that everybody in the southwest had heard them La Nube stories. Our daddy was like most folks. He thought La Nube was just Indian superstition but he knew all the stories. He knew that La Nube was supposed to have ridden into Indian and bandit camps, always dressed completely in black, always riding a jet black horse and always looking for children. Some said La Nube was a man whose family had been stolen by the Indians. Some said they had heard La Nube talk and it was a woman. The Indians said it was a ghost that took on different forms, sometimes that of a man, sometimes a woman and sometimes a fierce, black cougar. But the form didn't make any difference to the Indians. They believed that La Nube was a devil ghost, sent from hell by the angry Great Spirit. They weren't sure why the Great Spirit was angry with them but he had allowed the white man to take their land and kill all the buffalo. Now he was sending a devil to take away their children.
But man or woman or ghost or devil, everyone who claimed to have seen La Nube agreed that it was a crack shot. At first, many people were shot and some even killed trying to kill La Nube. But La Nube was so quick on that horse and with that gun that the Indians came to believe that it couldn't be killed and just quit trying. La Nube would ride into a village and demand that all the children be brought out. They were brought out, too. Them Indians was too scared to try to hide any of them.
There were even stories about La Nube stopping peddler's wagons. None of the stories said that La Nube took any children. It was just always lookin' for them.
Our daddy looked surprised. "You're not going to tell me that you're La Nube, are you? I never believed any of those stories. I never believed there was una La Nube Negra."
"Oh, yes, there was, Shay, and I was it. I had lost everything but the hope that my Pacito was alive. Perhaps if I knew he was dead, I could have let him go but I could not think of him being out there, afraid and poorly treated. I could not live like that. I had to try to find him.
"He was so intelligent. His eyes were so bright and you could tell, even at three years old, that he understood people and that they enjoyed laughing. Even at three he knew how to make people laugh, how to make people love him. He had made me so happy. I couldn't stand to think of him unhappy or afraid. I had to try to find him.
"I went off into the desert and taught myself to shoot. I knew some about the fears and superstitions of the Indians. I knew that if I rode at night and wore black, even if they had the numbers, I had the advantage because of their superstition. I knew that it was dangerous but it really didn't matter to me if I were killed. If I couldn't have my son, I didn't want to be alive.
"You were part of my decision, Shay. I heard all the stories of the great and deadly Seamus Flynn. I knew that many of those stories were legend but that those legends were probably helpful to you. If I were to have any chance of finding Pacito, I had to become a legend too. I became very good with a gun - very fast and accurate. I killed some people I probably wouldn't have had to, Shay, just to build a reputation, to become a legend. I did. I was able to frighten people into cooperating with me. But - it was all for nothing. I looked and looked but I never found Pacito.
"Strange, Shay. I killed people but I prided myself in the fact that I never robbed them. I could have taken money to keep up my search but when my money was gone, I had not even been fortunate enough to have been killed. I would not steal so I had to stop my search. I have stopped my search but my heart has not.
"I love you, Shay, but I cannot marry you. If I had access to your money, I would be off again, looking for Pacito. I could not stop myself. Can you understand that? Please don't hate me. I have prayed and I have tried but I can't let him go. I'm sure he is alive somewhere and until I find him, there is room in my heart only for him."
Connie was crying. "How have I sinned, Shay? Why is God so angry with me? I have lost everything and now I must lose you."
Daddy took her in his arms. He kissed her gently on the forehead. "Connie, listen to me. I don't believe God is angry with you. My God, woman, I can't imagine anyone being angry with you. I don't know why all those things happened to you. Some folks say that God works in mysterious ways but I'm not one to blame bad happenings on God. Bad happenings are peoples' doings, not God's but I do believe that God often makes good out of bad.
"Connie, I have not been completely honest with you either. There are some things I have not told you, but before I could tell you, I needed to know that you loved me, that you loved Seamus Flynn, not just the idea of Seamus Flynn. Tell me again. Do you love me?"
"Yes, Seamus, I love you but..."
Daddy interrupted her, "I didn't ask for any buts. I just asked if you loved me and you said that you do. Right?"
"Yes, Shay, that's right. I love you very much but..."
"If I could come up with an eleven or twelve year old boy with your mischievous eyes and your dimple in his chin, and your sense of humor, and" - here Daddy looked right in her eyes - "a butterfly birth mark on his right hip, would you consider marrying me then?"
Connie screamed and threw her arms around our daddy's neck. "Where is he? Where is my Pacito?"
"He's with me. He's in my heart just as he's in yours but the real boy lives with me on the Bent-Y. He's been living there for almost two years and I've been looking for you all that time. You're a hard woman to find but, then, I never thought of looking for a cloud. You were some trouble, woman, but, oh, are you ever worth the trouble. I love you, Connie."
I reckon when you're old like Daddy you got to have this next part but I don't like tellin' about it. Daddy and Connie went to huggin' and kissin' right there, standin' in the middle of the street, by the edge of downtown Santa Fe. I reckon Paco's mama's screamin' probably had the whole town watchin' them.
Now, I got to tell you, when them other herd kids are on the Bent-Y for schoolin', some of them girls that was the same old as Virgil and Nate and Paco and me would get us to sneak off and hide somewheres and we'd go to kissin' on each other. Them girls like that kissin' and it come to me when I was doin' it that I liked it too. But kissin' a girl out behind the barn is one thing. Kissin' a girl in front of the whole goddam town of Santa Fe New Mexico Territory is a whole 'nother thing and it takes a whole lot more time than I am old to get up enough nerve to do that.